I'm so deeply in the throes of baby envy, it's not even funny.
Baby envy: n. the distinct emotion engendered by the sight of any child under 4 or pregnant woman. Manifests as the uncontrollable urge to copulate and ovulate.
Normally engendered anyway. The trigger for me this time? Setting up play furniture for Shaila's baby dolls. Yes, I'm that badly off.
Actually, technically it wasn't the setting up of the toys that set me off. It was seeing the warning on the bottom of the Graco doll-sized playpen: "This toy is not intended to hold a child." Nah, really?
But that just led to the thought of an idiot using the toy for such, and the thought of a real live baby, and then the thought of a real live baby to hold... yes I'm that bad.
Not that right now would be an extremely bad time to get pregnant. After all, in 9 months both the kids will be in school and I would be left with plenty of time to have a healthy relaxed pregnancy.
However that's the only good point. The lack of health insurance on my part, the eternal suckage of being pregnant in Arizona during the summer, the fact that we aren't legally married (yet) and the fun up-in-the-air aspect of the custody dispute are all very good reasons why I continue to take my birth control each and every night. Logic and reasoning tells us this is a really BAD time to do any more major life changes because, frankly, we've got enough drama to last us about 10 years.
I WANT A BABY GODDAMNIT.
However that's just not possible.
But you can be sure that as soon as the rest of this stuff gets resolved, I'm going off of my birth control within a week and I'll be pregnant within a month.
Some biological urges are just too strong to ignore, and I'm not ignoring this one a moment longer than I need to.
Just call me Mel, everyone else does.