Tuesday, June 02, 2009

It Just Ain't Natural

Two days into the kids' summer vacation and summer is already kicking my ass.

Normally two bright, energetic children would be turned out into the backyard, the neighborhood, the back 40, or whatever play space is available outside to spend the summer playing and exploring. This would keep them active, engaged, and out from under their mother's feet.

Not in this god-forsaken desert. No, it's 100 degrees outside. Even the most dedicated outdoorsy child wilts in this heat.

So where do kids in Phoenix spend all summer? Inside. Be it the library, the movie theatre, the mall, or home all kids spend all summer inside.

It just ain't natural.

So I'm trying to keep them engaged on something not too destructive while I'm engaged in cleaning while Chris is engaged in working two rooms over. Oh, and he needs quiet because he spends all day on the phone.

I could do what other mothers here do and sign up the kids for every activity possible, but we just can't afford that. Plus I'd be away from the stuff I need to get done.

Sigh. There's really no winning solution here.

Fortunately for me (though not for her) my best friend since high school is out of work at the moment and she's willing to be a part time nanny so I can get some stuff done. The kids adore her and (of course) they behave much better for her. Plus the rate she's charging is dirt cheap and when I begin work at the end of the month I'll need her help anyway. Plus she's one of the few people I can trust to leave alone in the house, as she knows how to use firearms and while she's not a gun nut she has no problem with the concept of self-defense. Her daddy taught her well.

Oh, and did I mention that I'm spending a good chunk of this week finding Chris's mom a hospice, being my father's grief counselor (the 1 year anniversary of Mom's death is this week), selling the rest of my guns, AND juggling legal issues?

Yeah, I need help.

Right now though, I'm just feeling like a failure for not being able to juggle "it all". I know it's bull, but still there's a little bit of guilt there.

I hate summer.