Sunday, August 10, 2014

Bring me a Sandwich

Y'all who have always lived north of Delaware and east of Pittsburgh just can't understand...

Generally speaking, baked goods SUCK in the rest of the country (with the possible exception of San Francisco).

Pizza, bread, donuts, pastry... they are all just... anywhere from "not good" to "absolutely fucking horrible".

The only baked goods the rest of the country seem to get right are cookies, cakes, and pies... and even then most places fuck those up too, at best reaching mediocrity (the midwest and northwest generally do decent pies).

Sometimes they're fucking horrible, sometimes they're just mediocre, sometimes they are really CLOSE to being good... but those are worse than the horrible ones because they're close enough to make you remember what the good stuff is like.

The first thing I do when I get off a plane or drive into the area, is get a pizza. Usually on the ride from the airport. My next meal is almost always a sub... usually a steak and cheese. Then I get good "bad chinese" food (meaning americanized chinese food, which is actually good in the northeast, and pretty horrible everywhere else).

In most of the country, they actually think Subway, blimpies, quiznos, and jimmy johns, are actual subs.

Don't even get me started on donuts... Outside of the northeast and Ohio (I don't know why, but Ohio seems to have good donuts), it seems like only Austin, Chicago, Portland, LA, and San Francisco, actually have good donuts.

Bagels... forget it...

So even getting a sandwich on what by northeastern standards is mediocre bread, is 1000% better than the shit you have to get used to having.