In what MOST fans see as his best book (I think they're wrong, but hey. Most hippies who aren't really fans think it's "Stranger in a strange land") "Time Enough For Love", the main character Lazarus Long writes "Specilization is for insects" and presents a list of what a well rounded human being should be able to do:
"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects." -- Lazarus Long, Robert Heinlein, "Time Enough For Love".
So on that list, what have I done?
* Change a diaper
* Plan an invasion - in wargaming anyway; both as part of tactical excercises, and for fun
* Butcher a hog - and deer, and others
* Conn a ship - depends on what you mean by a ship. Lots of small craft over 40' if that counts
* Design a building - built it too. Actually a couple if you count sheds and outbuildings
* Write a sonnet - not a sonnett, but plenty of poetry and songs
* Balance accounts
* Build a wall
* Set a bone - unfortunately several times, including my own
* Comfort the dying
* Take orders - both as a manager, and in the Air Force
* Give orders - both as a manager, and in the Air Force
* Cooperate
* Act alone
* Solve equations
* Analyze a new problem
* Pitch manure
* Program a computer
* Cook a tasty meal - Hell yeah, I even write artery clooging "Recipes for REAL Men"
* Fight efficiently
Of all these things, the only one I havent yet done, is the one I most hope I can live up to:
* Die gallantly
I think it's a pretty good list, but theres not a lot of detail. Theres another list I rather like, from Kim DuToit - "20 Things a Man Should do Before He Dies":
1. Shoot a gun larger than a .22.
- On at least a weekly basis
2. Teach a kid to shoot.
- Many times, and I hope to do it again many more
3. Cook a meal out in the open (and I don’t mean a backyard BBQ).
- Oh hell yes. Nothing better than camp food after a hard day
4. Kill an animal which can kill you.
- More than once, both by design and by necessity. I've hunted bear, and while hunting and hiking I've twice been forced to kill dangerous animals (a bear, and a mountain lion). Trust me on this one, that'll scare the piss out of ya.
5. Taste a good brandy (no French cognacs need apply) and a fine single malt Scotch.
- I take my liquor cabinet very seriously. I do have some decent brandy, but I'm really a whisky man (or whiskey, depending on the mood).
6. Visit at least eight countries outside your own continent, none of which speak your home language.
- I have had the great good fortune to visit all 50 American states, and 40 some-odd countries. I say some-odd because some of them aren't countries anymore, and some of them are several different countries... The perils of traveling in Africa and Eastern Europe (which I would love to do more of; especially Africa before it sinks entirely into the muck). I've also lived in 4 countries for more than 90 days, and 3 more countries for more than six weeks - didnt speak the language in any of those three (USA, Ireland, UK, Australia, Germany, Russia, Japan).
7. Read any six Shakespeare plays.
- I haven't quite read all of them, but I can give you my six favorites right here, in order
- Henry V
- Much Ado About Nothing
- Othello
- Hamlet
- Scottish
- Lear
- I was a varsity and USA wrestler from the age of 13 (unlimited heavyweight since I was 13 - which isn't unlimited actually, it's limited to either 140 or 150 kilos for under 18's depending on what conference you're a part of) and I won many matches and a few tournaments for my weight class.
9. Be part of a winning sports team.
- Winning events I've been on many teams. Winning championships, I was a starting offensive tackle for three seasons with the Dublin Rebels, three time IAFL (american football) all-Ireland and UK champions, three time european champions.
10. Make love with a woman in a forbidden place.
- Very fun stuff. In elevators, restaurants, theaters, bathrooms, churches, airplanes... VERY fun stuff
11. Have a strange woman invite you home with her; and refuse her, because you’re married.
- Turns out it was a mistake, as I found out later; I should have gone with her. I loved my wife, but I ended up in a much better relationship with the other woman after my marriage ended. There were others, but that one sticks out... I also cheated on my wife several times; some of which I regret, and some I don't.
12. Build something tangible—out of wood, steel, brick, whatever.
- One of the few that match the list above, and yes many times. I've built everything from furniture and guitars, to houses, cars, boats, even planes and a small church once (eagle scout service project)
13. Sit up all night comforting a sick child.
- Many times. Though I have no children myself, I was the oldest in a very large extended family of fuckups; so I was left in charge a lot. I've also been with a few single mothers.
14. Tell the truth, where a lie would both be undiscoverable, and keep you out of trouble.
- Yeah this one has gotten me fired a couple of times... and worse actually.
15. Watch at least one real virtuoso play a musical instrument—in any kind of music.
I was lucky enough to see lots, but heres just a quicky five guitarists off the top of my head
- B.B. King
- Eric Johnson
- Steve Vai
- Stevie Ray Vaughn (I was 12)
- Joe Satriani
16. Perform on stage (music, theater, whatever), to a large (500+) audience.
- I used to front a show band doing Classic Rock, Blues, and Soul covers. Frikken great times there. Just fun stuff, most of us worked for the same company. I also performed in choral competitions when I was a kid and in high school.
17. Play at least one musical instrument competently.
- I used to play guitar competently, but not well enough to do it for anything more than stress relief and fun.
18. Make love to a woman at least ten years older than you are.
- Biggest gap has been 24 years. When I was 17 I was in a regular thing with a gorgeous 41 year old Russian woman, married to an 80 year old American jsut for citizenship. Man that was fun.
19. Tell a government bureaucrat to fuck off.
- In those exact words, and more than once. It can be surprisingly effective, or disastrously ineffective depending on the circumstances
20. And finally: tell a true story to your grandchildren.
- Well, no kids yet; and no prospect of them any time soon, but let me tell you I can't wait... and I should have some good ones to tell.
HT: Erics Grumbles
