Saturday, March 01, 2014

Lessons baby boy has been learning from the doggies

Evidently the boy thinks he's a puppy.

To be fair, he and the doggies move on all fours instead of two legs, so he might have a point.

Lessons the boy has picked up from the doggies:
1. An uncovered toilet bowl is for playing and, ideally, for splashing water onto the formerly clean and dry bathroom floor.
2. If the doggies congregate at the door Grandpa is home. Paying attention to you is Grandpa's only purpose; make sure to remind him as loudly as possible should he neglect to pay attention to you the minute he walks through the door.
3. An open door is an opportunity to escape. Never miss an opportunity to go through the open door for dirt and wonderful things to roll in are on the other side.
4. The fridge is a magic place where food comes from. Should a two-legged open the fridge door, make sure you hurry so you can take a peek inside and possibly claim something for yourself.
5. Food found on the floor is the best food.
6. Packaged food left on the table is just waiting for you to grab it and breach its packaging. This applies to both foods you are normally given (crackers) and food Mommy keeps away from you (bouillon cubes). Wait until Mommy's back is turned for maximum impact.
7. Bathroom doors are never to be closed. Ever. Someone attempting to use the bathroom by themselves is clearly rejecting you.
8. If it's not edible, it's chewable or bite-able. No exceptions.
9. If your food does not come from Mommy or Daddy's plate, you're being denied adequate nourishment. Complain loudly. Conversely...
10. If it's in the dog feeder, it's clearly edible and tasty. After all, the other four-leggeds eat it and they're fine.
11. If a two-legged should eat at the table without you, make sure you go beg with the other four-leggeds.
12. Dirty pots, dishes, and leftovers left on the floor are up for grabs. Make sure you hurry so you can attempt to push the other four-leggeds away from whatever they're eating.

 And yes, the fact that he hasn't been bitten for attempting all of the above is proof that we have the most awesome dogs ever.