Shared Pain is Lessened, Shared Joy is Increased

"There is nothing which has yet been contrived by man, by which so much happiness is produced as by a good tavern" -- Samuel Johnson

Re-reading Callahan's right now, from the beginning...

Because I need it.

Wash is still gone. My best friend is suffering from a serious antibiotic resistant infection post major abdominal surgery, and not doing well. Another good friend is very ill, and we won't be able to see them very much, if at all... And life just isn't simple, or easy... It never is.

Shared Pain is Lessened, Shared Joy is Increased.

Thank you Spider Robinson. If you don't know Callahan's, and you're not one of my few friends who dislike science fiction or fantasy... Go, Read, NOW.... Seriously (or even if you are... you should read anyway).

When I was a kid, Callahan's helped save my life... as it did so many others. It was a place, and an idea, I very much needed at that moment... and many moments since.

In fact... Spider himself has said that Callahan's is the kind of place that people find when they really need it... "It's the kind of place you only hear about when you really need to... if you're extremely lucky".

No, I'm not anywhere near that bad off right now... Just... needing something... and right now, praying isn't doing it for me... My prayers just... won't come together.

...I think this might be what I need right now.

Don't call us, we'll call you

Ok... so, all my friends know that I REALLY dislike talking on the phone in the best of times.

... And these are not exactly the best of times.

In person, you can't shut me up; but over the phone... I just don't care for it.

Right now, I'm stressed, I'm tired, I feel like crap, and I just want to rest and relax as best I can.

My cancer surgery is Monday, and lots of friends and family have been calling... or trying to call... over the past few days.

I have been sending you all to voicemail.

Right now, I REALLY REALLY don't want to talk on the phone... and frankly I have nothing to say.

Things are exactly the same as they were the last time I talked with all of you, trust me. I still have cancer, everything in my life is basically on hold until I recover from surgery... that's about it.

After the surgery, and after my voice recovers (anywhere from the next day, to a week or so after) I'll call everyone back...

I know you're all worried about me, I know you're all thinking of me, praying for me... I just really want to relax right now, and I don't want to repeat the same story... again... for the Idon'tknowhowmanyth time.

K'thanx'bye

A Monster Hunter goes "Contracting"

Let's get this out of the way right now. This, is Larry Correia and Mike Kuparis new book "Dead Six":

If you read this blog, you will want to buy this book. It's officially out today, but I read it a couple months back with an advance readers copy. It's great. You should go and buy ten copies now and give them to everyone you know.

This link will let you go and do that: "Dead Six" at Amazon (paper only. Baen does not sell ebooks through Amazon because of Amazons DRM)

This link will let you choose an independent book store to buy from: Baens book store listing for "Dead Six"

So will this one, in DRM free ebook format: "Dead Six" from Baens "webscriptions"

You should go buy it now. Really, seriously, before you read another sentence.

Ok... if you need more convincing, here's the first 8 chapters: Baen books sample chapters for "Dead Six"

Let me repeat: If you like reading this blog for reasons other than "know thy enemy", you want to buy "Dead Six". And you want to buy it today, because best seller lists are all about velocity of sales, not total sales. We want to see Larry with another New York Times Bestseller now don't we?

Larry Correia should need no introduction in this crowd, being the former proprietor of Fuzzy Bunny Movie Guns, once one of the coolest Class III dealers in the country; and the author of the bestselling SFF/F/Adventure novels: "Monster Hunter International", "Monster Hunter Vendetta", "Monster Hunter Alpha", "Hard Magic", and of course the near future bestsellers "Dead Six" and "Spellbound".

Mike Kupari, most of y'all probably don't know. He's a good guy, a veteran who was doing his time in the guard and decided to re-enlist in the Air Force, to volunteer to be an EOD tech. He's over in Asscrackistan right now keeping other guys from getting their asses blowed up, by risking getting his ass blowed up instead.

Let me repeat... Mike had already served. He had already done some time as a PMC too... He was free and clear, and no-one could say he hadn't done his part... but he volunteered, to go BACK, and do one of the most dangerous things we do (under THIS president no less). Yeah, he may not be so bright ;-) but he's one of the good guys.

Oh and there's one other thing...,

I'm in the book... and if you're a Guncounter member, so are you:

If you can't read that, the portion relevant to the guncounter reads:

"We would like to thank Chris Byrne and the Gun Counter for fixing the computer situation. Their generosity is much appreciated."

And of course, Larry and Mike, we were all glad to help.

There's a small story behind that, but we don't talk publicly about what we do for our servicemembers, veterans, and familys and friends in need. If someone else wants to tell it, that's fine... people think I blow my own horn too much as it is.

That said, it would be disingenuous to not mention I'm in the book in another way as well.

After we helped out with the computer situation, Larry told me he was redshirting me...

Instead of just your basic redshirting though, he made me an actual (minor) character, with a pretty interesting death.

...Just a bit more than your basic redshirting.

Oh and yeah, there's no way you're not going to be recognizing me there... Next time I go to a con, someone is going to recognize it.

Cool. Very cool.

GO, NOW, BUY THE DAMN BOOK!

I fucked up...

I fucked up, and I lost a friend because of it... and maybe I'll get him back, but if I don't, it's my fault and I deserve it.

I very badly hurt a friend of mine. With the best of intentions, and in a self righteous fit, I made bad assumptions based on bad information and mis-communication.

I presumed that my friend had done a despicable thing, when he had not. I then treated him as if he had done that thing, though he had not.

That I was mistaken, or that I truly believed I was right, is no excuse; in fact it makes it worse...

I betrayed our friendship by assuming that he was less than a man.

I failed to give my friend credit for his growth as a man, and for his character. I assumed the worst of him... and in that I failed as a friend, and as a man myself.

I did this at a time when he was hurting more than he ever has before in his life. In the most difficult time he has ever had, when I should have been there for him, I made it worse.

It's no excuse, but I did this because I was very badly hurt by what I thought was happening... but what I thought was happening, really wasn't; and rather than make the effort to communicate with him about it, I cut him off. Not only that, but I publicly insulted him.

...and I'm sorry.

I talked to him today, for the first time in a few months... I hadn't understood, I didn't know, and I was very very hurt... but that doesn't excuse my behavior towards him.

I did apologize to him while we talked... for several things... but not enough.

He said to me that he considered my behavior a betrayal of our friendship, and even though I conceded that I was wrong, I didn't agree with him at the time that it was.....

...but he was right. I did betray our friendship.

It wasn't until I really sat down and thought about it for a while that the full weight of my betrayal of my friend settled on me.

The worst thing you can do to a man, is treat him like less than a man. That's exactly what I did to my friend.

...and that's the danger of self righteousness, and anger, and hurt, and reacting without considering and communicating.

I'm a grown man. I'm supposed to know better. I'm supposed to BE better.

...but I fucked up.

...and I'm sorry.

This isn't some "poor poor pitiful me" bullshit, or some self flagellation to make me feel better... and it's not an attempt to win my friend back, or a request for forgiveness.

If he forgives me, that's great. If he doesn't, he'd be justified. I'm not going to ask for forgiveness, because frankly I don't have the right to.

What it comes down to is this: I fucked up in public, and I mistreated my friend in public; and now I'm going to act like the man I should have been, own up to it in public, and apologize in public.

I'm sorry.

And on the tail of that post...

I am reminded that I never posted the engagement photo (I did ask permission before posting):



Our friends, fellow forum members, and the kid's godparents JohnOC and Myrrhianna are to be married in April. Best wishes for them both, and hopes of babies soon!

Note from Chris: No, JohnOC is not my brother, he's just my friend; though he looks more like my brother "should", than my actual brother does. People ask us that all the time.

A Voice Made For Radio

You might have noted that some folks in the gun community, and more broadly in the community of people online (and in person for that matter) are quiet polarizing.

Apparently, I'm one of them, lord knows why.

Another is a man I consider my good friend, and who I have missed terribly these past two years since I saw him last, or the nearly a year since he last wrote on his own site.

I'm speaking of course of Kim Du Toit.

I won't rehash all that has gone before. Dramatic writing, and stupid drama are behind us.

Something about Kim that people who only know him by his writing: All of his friends have been saying for years, that he has the kind of voice, both literally and rhetorically, made for radio.

Well, it seems that he's finally decided we were right. Kim and his beloved wife Connie have decided to start an internet radio show.

The Kim and Connie Show 1910 People in a 2010 World We chat about everyday life, especially politics and values. Our politics are strictly conservative, our social values very conservative, and our views on manners and morality carved-in-granite conservative. We are staunch believers in the U.S. Constitution, as written with its original intent. We are not: racists, homophobes, misogynists, religious intolerants, conspiracy theorists or any of that nonsense—although, in these oh-so politically-correct times, the Perpetually Sensitive may occasionally be mistaken for thinking so. We welcome callers to the show, with this request: please be polite and rational.

Live Internet Talk-Radio Schedule Broadcasting live every Every Saturday & Sunday beginning October 3, 2009: * 7:00 pm to 8:00 pm (Eastern) * 6:00 pm to 7:00 pm (Central) * 5:00 pm to 6:00 pm (Mount.) * 4:00 pm to 5:00 pm (Pacific) Click to listen/talk on BlogTalkRadio.com or... Not near a computer? Call in to listen or participate: 1 (347) 855-8684 (Toll charges may apply. Check with your local carrier for rates.)

Sample Show Show Listings

By the by, even if you disagree with Kim and Connie politicially (and god knows we have as many points of disagreement as agreement) they are hilariously funny people, and great conversationalists. This should be very fun.

I wish them the best of luck in this, and I know I plan on listening.

A Legendary Gun Dealer Passes

Marty Mandall died this morning. He was 81.

Marty got out of the army, and started in the gun business in the 60s, back in his native Brooklyn. In 1974 he lifted his business whole, and moved it to old town Scottsdale; one of the first big gun stores in the area, and the only one in Old Town.

I knew Marty pretty well, and he was a character. I was a Mandalls customer, then a friend of the family, then an employee.

I helped shut the store down in 2004; in one of the biggest auctions of class III and rare and unusual firearms in years... of course it was also one of the biggest collections of cheap pre'68 European pocket pistols ever as well...

... because that was Marty Mandall.

Marty really was a legend... for both good and bad reasons. As a business owner he was a disaster. Marty was, to put it gently, nuts. He mostly hired fellow nutjobs and malcontents to work there.

He had a casual disregard for safety, accounting, record keeping, following the rules in general.

He also loved life. Every minute.

Marty would cheat you. Straight up. He wasn't exactly greedy, and there wasn't any malice in it... it wasn't even about the money; it's just that he thought of the whole thing as a game. As far as he was concerned if he skinned you raw, it's because you didn't play the game well enough.

On the other hand, if you did, you could get some spectacular deals (and I did).

Marty ran the shop more as his own private collection than as a business. On the guns that he particularly liked, he would set the prices so high that no-one would want to pay them, so he could just keep the thing, stare at it and fondle it.

Either that, or he'd buy 10, or 20, or 50 of the things; without regard as to whether he could sell them or not.

When we shut the shop down, we had over 200 $2000 plus Hammerli target pistols. In fact, for years, Marty was Hammerlis only importer in the united states; and was their number one dealer all through the 70s and most of the 80s.

In direct contrast to his other business practices, he donated a bunch of pistols to olympic shooting clubs, and jr. marksmanship teams.

A friend of mine is a former IDF sniper. He came to the U.S. in the mid 70s with his American wife; and they had no place to live. Marty put them up for a few months while they got their feet under them.

Marty donated a great deal of money and goods to support Israel; something most people never knew.

He would buy the absolute craziest things. When we cleaned out the store to get ready for the auction, we found hundreds of pairs of rubber waders... as in wade into a river waders. Thousands of left handed holsters. Hundreds of GI 1911 hammers in their original packaging.

In the same case, we had $3000 swarovski scopes, and $30 swift ones.

We had dozens of these $3,000 swiss target rifles. Marty loved 'em but we only ever sold one in the entire history of the store.

He bought dozens of these special editions, collectors editions, commemorative editions; some worth thousands, some worth... basically nothing.

On the other side of things, he bought dozens of these truly awful Turkish shotguns, which were only good as wall hangers.

He loved gold plated pimp guns.

He loved screwing with peoples minds.

He loved dirty jokes, and bad puns, and single entendre, and slapstick.

He had rather severe obsessive compulsive disorder; but hid it from everyone until it got out of hand toward the end of his life. It was the driving force behind his collecting mania, and yes it was a mania (hundreds of rubber waders remember)

Marty was one of the last of the breed... for good or ill; and the world is poorer for this loss.

To Kim:

Thanks for the free ice cream.

That is all.

Lost a friend today

This morning, Gary Gygax passed on, a few months shy of his 70th birthday.

Gary is... was... a friend of mine. I'd only met him a few times at gaming events and the like, but for the last couple years I've been moderating a mailing list for him, and participating in some great online discussions.

Gary was a big personality... one that a lot of folks couldn't handle. He was confident, agressive, assertive, and he never backed down. He had an amazing wit and sense of humor; especially for the ironic, sarcastic, and absurd. Sometimes, he liked to argue, just to see what people would say; or just for fun.

What most people don't know is that Gary was also a deeply religious Christian, and a profoundly conservative man politically and socially. He was a father of six, and a grandfather of seven.

It always amused the hell out of me that the fundies would decry how D&D was the tool of the devil; and yet Gary was almost certainly more conservative than they were.

Being conservative, and being religious, don't have anything to do with having a quick, agile, open, and creative mind; no matter what some seem to believe.

Garys health has been pretty bad for a long time. Over the past few years, he's had several medically imposed periods of bed rest and isolation; a couple strokes, a couple cardiac events, and some immune system issues. It hasn't been announced exactly how he died, but it's believed to be heart related.

My prayers go out to Gail, his kids, and his grandkids.

Confugio Deus, Draco Magnus.

Back from Reno

full report tomorrow, but let me just say we had a great time.

Scott Baio is 45, and an ass

... but he's an ass I recognize

Ok, a few disclaimers before we begin so you understand my biases:

1. I HATE reality TV
2. I really dislike Scott Baio, and pretty much every show he's been in

The 8 weeks or so I've been going through a severe bout of insomnia. I haven't had more than two hours sleep in a row, or more than 4 hours in a given 24 hour period, since late May (a couple days before the Texas trip). This has generally meant a lot of reading; but on occasion I watch some late night TV (especially history/discovery/learning channel stuff).

Well, tonight I watched the new Scott Baio reality show "Scott Baio is 45 and single"... and this is embarrasing... because I saw one of his ex girlfriends in a promo commercial, and I couldn't remember her name. It was REALLY bugging me, because I'm incredibly anal retentive about stuff that I know but can't remember, so I wanted to see if they mentioned it in the show (they didn't directly mention her in this episode, but she's supposed to be in the next one and her name - Julie McCullough, who was on Growing Pains - was mentioned in the teasers for that episode).

Really, I was reading about the history of Ubuntu (about ten layers deep on a mindwalk that started with a Slashdot posting) and I just had the show on for background noise waiting to see if they said the girls name; but I was half listening to his story, his behavior, his attitudes etc.. and I realized something.

Baio is an ass, but I kinda like the guy... because he's a hell of a lot like my best friend Jim (well, if Jim had been a child star who got to screw supermodels anyway).

He's a fairly typical "I never grew up because I didn't have to" type, and now he's 45 and having to re-assess where his life is at. He's decided that he really loves his girlfriend and wants to be with her, but he can't decide if he can settle down and be married or not. He's cheated on everyone he's ever been with except his current girlfriend, he's slept around at every opportunity, and there have been a lot of opportunities (hey, he WAS a TV star, even if he was a Kinda lame one); and he jsut can't figure out where hes gone wrong with relationships in the past.

So he's hired a "life coach"... most of whom are total scam artists, but this one actually has a PHD in psychology.. so if she's a scam artist she's at least a well qualified one; and she seems to be steering him on the right track so far.

Jim just got engaged to his MUCH older girlfriend, who he's lived with for a little less than a year. He's decided he's going to settle down, try and do something with his life.

He's been a car salesman since he was 18 minus the year he was in the army (only one year because of a medical discharge. His lungs got scarred during ranger school, when he inhaled tear gas while he was not fully recovered from a case of pneumonia); and he's got nothing to show for it, except a mountain of debt, and three kids that he loves desperately but can't ever see because they're with their total psycho bitch mother in New Jersey (I say total psycho bitch advisedly. Shes on 100% disability for her mental problems).

So, I'm looking at Baios life patterns and his actions, and his attitudes; and I see my best friend right there, in that same position. He's a little younger and a lot poorer, but he's basically right there; an overgrown teenager having wasted his life, and now facing the prospect of being a grownup for the first time.

The one big difference though, is that Baios best friend is actually WORSE than he is. He's piggy backed on Baios arrested development, and lived a rather pathetic shadow life next to Baios, defining himself only as "Scotts best friend".

I'm exactly the opposite. I'm the kid who grew up at age 5, left home at 16, and been out on my own ever since. I've been the responsible adult in the family since I was 7; and I've been the stabilizing (and occaisonally rescuing) influence in Jims life that entire time (and I mean that literally. Jim and I have been best friends since we were 7).

Mel was saying to Jim and his finacee the other day "I don't now how you've managed to survive this long"... in response to some ridiculous stunt that he had pulled in his early 20s... and he looked over at me, pointed, and in all seriousness said "You're looking at him right there".

I'm not Jims keeper by any means. I don't run his life. I'm just there for him when he needs me. I don't let him abuse my friendship, I've cut him off before; but he's always brought it back under control, and he's finally starting to turn things around.

In some ways, having me has certainly kept Jim alive, and helped him; in others it's also enabled him to screw up for so long. I try not to be an enabler, but in some circumstances, it happened. Now, Jim has recognized what the problems are, and he's working at fixing them.

So I guess Jim has me, and Baio has his life coach.

Personally, I'd rather just have a good best friend; but Baio is surrounded by enablers. He doesn't have a functioning adult best friend. He needs to pull the sycophant anchor off his neck, and start listening to people who are both his friends, and who are functioning adults; or he's just going to keep going down the same path. He, like Jim, needs to recognize what his problems are, and work at fixing them.

But... never grow up too much OK? Jim wouldn't be Jim if he was 100% grown up, he'd just be some guy. I'm not best friends with some guy, I'm best friends with Jim.

I'd say Baio is the same. He needs to keep the kid in him; but grow up around it.

Not exactly an easy thing to do really...