Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Maybe he's not dead yet...

English Man: I'm not dead.
Dead Collector: 'Ere, he says he's not dead.
European Citizen: Yes he is.
English Man: I'm not.
Dead Collector: He isn't.
European Citizen: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.
English Man: I'm getting better.
European Citizen: No you're not, you'll be stone dead in a moment.

Yesterday i wrote of the death of the English Man; replaced by eurocentric not-men, and welfare babies...

Perhaps I was too hasty, perhaps not; but I say this, I am heartened by these responses from my readers, expecially from Tim and Steve of "An Englishmans Castle" (a very fine blog in it's own right, and a semi-regular read for me; usually off of Kims).

I've been a bit light on the original content here the last few days, with a lot of cutting and pasting of others thoughts, but they are such worthy thoughts how can I not share them here:

Don't worry the real English are still here - your great choice of poems actually point out that it is an age old story of Lions lead by Donkeys, the sophisticates believe that Tommy is too unsophisticated and that civilised people don't fight, it can all be negotiated away.

The lion sleeps, but one day....
The lion sleeps deep, Tim, in fact rather too deeply. I hope he wakes up before this country of mine is too far gone. I don't want any other.
Hi Chris, Sorry you have been insulted by some guy who is not an Englishman. He is probably some foreign geezer trying to wind you up or a scum-bag lefty or an Arab. The real English are still here but a bit thin on the ground! Soldiers only go where they are told and do their duty, which any right thinking person who lives in the real world must understand even if they don’t agree with the politics. The scum bag who insulted you American patriots would not even be here without America’s help during WW2 , when Hitler and Nazi Germany had to be stood up to. (You was a little late in that one but we forgive you) Anyway pacifism does not work, it’s only a temporary stay of the inevitable!

No one agrees with naked aggression but nations and people have to stand up and be counted when attacked, as America was on that terrible day in September four years ago. We could do with a few soldiers on our borders in the UK which are non-existent. The indigenous Brits are leaving our towns and cities like never before over 200,000 per year from London alone over the last few decades.

In England today we the English are very much on the political defence, in our culture and history. The lefties have infiltrated the highest echelons of government and the civil service. Even the BBC is bias against the English. I wrote a piece on the Englishman’s castle blog describing our blight its in the achieves on Tim’s blog dated around May 2nd 2005. It’s called a ‘Nation of Ostriches’ I think it cover very well the sentiments that many true English people feel about how our country is being run down, and overtaken by foreigners, and they not even armed!

God Bless America and England, Ireland, Scotland and Wales
A Christian Blessing of course!
Chris Byrne (me):
Actually Steve, I recognize that all Englishmen are not yet "New Internationalists" or "Transnational Progressivists", but I look around and all I see are more and more boys and girls (I hesitate to call them mean and women) sucking from the tit of the nanny state; and abdicating all their responsibility.

In the process they don't seem to notice, or even care, that they are trading away their freedom; and it frightens me.

For gods sakes; who would ever have thought that the Scots would become welfare babies?

Who is left to bring England back?
Terry W:
I'm pleased to report the Englishman is alive and well, and as honourable as ever. The trouble is we are few in number, and it's all a bit disconcerting to be outnumbered by faux-patriotic chavs and bleeding-heart, self-loathing Londoners.

We're all down the pub at the moment, mulling over what to do, or sitting at home reading the papers, letting the anger build. I've heard that lions tend to be rather touchy when woken from a long slumber, so keep your eyes peeled.
Hi Chris, that is the 64,000 dollar question, we do need somebody to pull us as a nation out of this smothering Nanny State mire. But any political big hitters as just not there or they are too scared to put there views in any line of fire.

Just two small examples of state intervention in the last year, that you and other Americans may not be aware of! Hunting with dogs has been banned a tradition that has gone on for centuries. I have no strong views either way as long as they are not infringing on my postage stamp garden. You would think that farmers and country people would know what’s best for them, not the state.

A second issue, the Sparks (electricians) in the UK has just been criminalized from carrying out their trade, since January 1st 2005. A dictate from Europe with the conniving of Tony Blair’s government states that Sparks must now join trade organisations or have town councils surveyors come out and test every single electrical installation!! Sparks with 20, 30 plus years experience have to now put up with this Bollocks.

Electricians who have undertaken an indentured 5 year City & Guilds JIB journeyman apprenticeship count for nothing in the new know it all state. Many will carry on breaking the new bull-shit law. A competent electrician before Jan 1st 2005 Many with decades of experience, so what has changed!

A member of Parliament, a Jenny Tonge the liberal member for Richmond helped push for this. Her daughter was electrocuted by a Fitted Kichen company’s dodgy wiring of a socket a couple of years back. It was not even an electrician who carried out the job! So now the whole of the domestic industry has to suffer. Those who will benefit are the overlords of these new licenses which is a personal interference day to day sparks work. The cost will be around £1000 per year with on the site inspections. Before this a UK qualified spark had complete autonomy over his work. He could issue completion certificates if required. The cost will be passed on to the consumer and it will be like working in a big brother state. Around ten people are electrocuted a year in Britain but no all in the home, some road workers make this toll. We have hundreds in not thousands killed and injured on our roads are we now all to get an individual driving instructors to make our future journeys!

As for the welfare state it’s a good idea for a safety net for those who have contributed in with their national health stamps, and can’t afford to go private. But the whole third world and Eastern Europe are taking advantage of the National Health Service. We are plagued with Health tourists who come here under the pretence of a vacation or to study and they are wiping the floor with the free service their get which puts the indigenous Brit further back on the waiting list say nothing of the mass immigration and asylum that is going on!

PS incidentally Jenny Tonge the Member of Parliament is the same one from a year or two back who said she could understand why Palestinians go out strapped up with their suicide bombings!!!!!! Some fucking Member of Parliament don’t you think.
I am unfortunately aware of both the RIDICULOUSLY ASININE new home improvement and maintenance regulations (and theya re actually worse than Steve is pointing out, thats just one pebble on the mountain), and the even more ridiculously asinine Jenny Tonge.

I swear to you, I never thought that one could ever watch "Yes Minister", and think "If only we were that good".

Monday, May 30, 2005

Memorial for the Mariner

I realize, I've said so much about soldiers this memorial day, but nothing about sailors.

"Lord take me up in your hand and protect me,
for my boat is so small, and your ocean is so large"
I'm a sailor myself actually. I grew up on the New England coast, and spent most of my life within shouting distance of water until the great migration out west. I used to run hobie cats in spec races; I built a one-design with some friends. All small stuff really, but I've been well out of sight of land in a small boat. It's hard to understand the feeling or describe it unless you've been there.

They that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in great waters; These see the works of the LORD, and his wonders in the deep. For he commandeth, and raiseth the stormy wind, which lifteth up the waves thereof. They mount up to the heaven, they go down again to the depths: their soul is melted because of trouble. They reel to and fro, and stagger like a drunken man, and are at their wits' end. Then they cry unto the LORD in their trouble, and he bringeth them out of their distresses. He maketh the storm a calm, so that the waves thereof are still. Then are they glad because they be quiet; so he bringeth them unto their desired haven.

Psalms, 107:23-30
Let me say right now, the mercheant marine fleet deserves jsut as much a memorial this day as any man who ever wore his nations uniform. All throughout history it was the merchies who took the heaviest casualties, and they never recieved the recognition or honor that is due them. Maybe I'm biased because I grew up in New England which has borne that burden more heavily than most other places in America, but I think it's shameful that more don't know of the sacrifices they made for our freedom.

Sea Fever
--John Masefield

I MUST down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,
And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by,
And the wheel's kick and the wind's song and the white sail's shaking,
And a grey mist on the sea's face and a grey dawn breaking.

I must down to the seas again, for the call of the running tide
Is a wild call and a clear call that may not be denied;
And all I ask is a windy day with the white clouds flying,
And the flung spray and the blown spume, and the sea-gulls crying.

I must down to the seas again to the vagrant gypsy life.
To the gull's way and the whale's way where the wind's like a whetted knife;
And all I ask is a merry yarn from a laughing fellow-rover,
And quiet sleep and a sweet dream when the long trick's over.
Some men must go, they must explore, they must sail, they must be free.. call it corny or sentimentalist or childish if you like... it isn't really, you just don't understand, and if you don't it can't be explained.

Home Is the Sailor
--A.E. Housman

Home is the sailor, home from sea:
Her far-borne canvas furled
The ship pours shining on the quay
The plunder of the world.

Home is the hunter from the hill:
Fast in the boundless snare
All flesh lies taken at his will
And every fowl of air.

'Tis evening on the moorland free,
The starlit wave is still:
Home is the sailor from the sea,
The hunter from the hill.
And they all come home again once more, unless they have given that final sacrifice.
We commit the body of our brother to the deep
In the sure and certain hope
that the day shall come that the sea shall give up her dead

And the corruptible bodies of those who sleep within shall be changed
And will be raised to the glory of new life

In Memoriam - The English Man

Some UK "world citizen" idiot left a nasty comment on the post "What it really means"

"Why do you Americans have to fall for this sentimentalist jingoistic bullshit" or some such words; I dont remember, I deleted him immediately (note, disagreement, debate, and discussion are allowed in my comments, assholes and insults are not).

There was a time when English Men, Europeans, and Canadians understood what it seems only Americans still do: Although war is never to be desired, nor is it ever the "right" thing to do, sometimes it is the least wrong thing to do, sometimes it is necessary.

Englishmen (and one Canadian) knew this so well in fact, they wrote some of the greatest words ever expressed in our language:

In Flanders Fields
by Lt. Col. John McCrae, M.D. (1872-1918)
Canadian Army

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.
Memorial day is not only a U.S. holiday; it is a holiday for all the men (and women) who died fighting for what is right in this world.

It saddens me that there are now so few English Men left. How many in England would now understand these words:

"To Lucasta, going to the wars"
Richard Lovelace

TELL me not, Sweet, I am unkind,
That from the nunnery
Of thy chaste breast and quiet mind
To war and arms I fly.

True, a new mistress now I chase,
The first foe in the field;
And with a stronger faith embrace
A sword, a horse, a shield.

Yet this inconstancy is such
As thou too shalt adore;
I could not love thee, Dear, so much,
Loved I not Honour more.
"Loved I not honour more"... I can imagine a few marines, royal or American saying that... but the run of the mill Englishman?

Or this... a ballad to how the spirit, and valor of men can overcome ... the charge is one of the biggest military blunders of all time; an accident really, but it broke the crimean war wide open.
"Charge of the Light Brigade"
Alfred, Lord Tennyson

Half a league, half a league,
Half a league onward,
All in the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.
"Forward, the Light Brigade!
"Charge for the guns!" he said:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

"Forward, the Light Brigade!"
Was there a man dismay'd?
Not tho' the soldier knew
Someone had blunder'd:
Their's not to make reply,
Their's not to reason why,
Their's but to do and die:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon in front of them
Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell
Rode the six hundred.

Flash'd all their sabres bare,
Flash'd as they turn'd in air,
Sabring the gunners there,
Charging an army, while
All the world wonder'd:
Plunged in the battery-smoke
Right thro' the line they broke;
Cossack and Russian
Reel'd from the sabre stroke
Shatter'd and sunder'd.
Then they rode back, but not
Not the six hundred.

Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon behind them
Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
While horse and hero fell,
They that had fought so well
Came thro' the jaws of Death
Back from the mouth of Hell,
All that was left of them,
Left of six hundred.

When can their glory fade?
O the wild charge they made!
All the world wondered.
Honor the charge they made,
Honor the Light Brigade,
Noble six hundred.
Is the English Man so truly dead? Does the union jack no longer mean anything? This is coming from an Irish Man, (Irish father, American mother, part Irish raised part American), to whom the jack is a symbol of opression; but to you English is it no longer a symbol of pride? Is it just some piece of Kitschery to be worn on shirts and painted on mini-coopers, or draped around the shoulders of overpaid footballers? Have you forgotten Kipling entireley?

The English Flag

Above the portico a flag-staff, bearing the Union Jack,
remained fluttering in the flames for some time, but ultimately
when it fell the crowds rent the air with shouts,
and seemed to see significance in the incident. -- DAILY PAPERS.

Winds of the World, give answer! They are whimpering to and fro --
And what should they know of England who only England know? --
The poor little street-bred people that vapour and fume and brag,
They are lifting their heads in the stillness to yelp at the English Flag!

Must we borrow a clout from the Boer -- to plaster anew with dirt?
An Irish liar's bandage, or an English coward's shirt?
We may not speak of England; her Flag's to sell or share.
What is the Flag of England? Winds of the World, declare!

The North Wind blew: -- "From Bergen my steel-shod vanguards go;
I chase your lazy whalers home from the Disko floe;
By the great North Lights above me I work the will of God,
And the liner splits on the ice-field or the Dogger fills with cod.

"I barred my gates with iron, I shuttered my doors with flame,
Because to force my ramparts your nutshell navies came;
I took the sun from their presence, I cut them down with my blast,
And they died, but the Flag of England blew free ere the spirit passed.

"The lean white bear hath seen it in the long, long Arctic night,
The musk-ox knows the standard that flouts the Northern Light:
What is the Flag of England? Ye have but my bergs to dare,
Ye have but my drifts to conquer. Go forth, for it is there!"

The South Wind sighed: -- "From the Virgins my mid-sea course was ta'en
Over a thousand islands lost in an idle main,
Where the sea-egg flames on the coral and the long-backed breakers croon
Their endless ocean legends to the lazy, locked lagoon.

"Strayed amid lonely islets, mazed amid outer keys,
I waked the palms to laughter -- I tossed the scud in the breeze --
Never was isle so little, never was sea so lone,
But over the scud and the palm-trees an English flag was flown.

"I have wrenched it free from the halliard to hang for a wisp on the Horn;
I have chased it north to the Lizard -- ribboned and rolled and torn;
I have spread its fold o'er the dying, adrift in a hopeless sea;
I have hurled it swift on the slaver, and seen the slave set free.

"My basking sunfish know it, and wheeling albatross,
Where the lone wave fills with fire beneath the Southern Cross.
What is the Flag of England? Ye have but my reefs to dare,
Ye have but my seas to furrow. Go forth, for it is there!"

The East Wind roared: -- "From the Kuriles, the Bitter Seas, I come,
And me men call the Home-Wind, for I bring the English home.
Look -- look well to your shipping! By the breath of my mad typhoon
I swept your close-packed Praya and beached your best at Kowloon!

"The reeling junks behind me and the racing seas before,
I raped your richest roadstead -- I plundered Singapore!
I set my hand on the Hoogli; as a hooded snake she rose,
And I flung your stoutest steamers to roost with the startled crows.

"Never the lotus closes, never the wild-fowl wake,
But a soul goes out on the East Wind that died for England's sake --
Man or woman or suckling, mother or bride or maid --
Because on the bones of the English the English Flag is stayed.

"The desert-dust hath dimmed it, the flying wild-ass knows,
The scared white leopard winds it across the taintless snows.
What is the Flag of England? Ye have but my sun to dare,
Ye have but my sands to travel. Go forth, for it is there!"

The West Wind called: -- "In squadrons the thoughtless galleons fly
That bear the wheat and cattle lest street-bred people die.
They make my might their porter, they make my house their path,
Till I loose my neck from their rudder and whelm them all in my wrath.

"I draw the gliding fog-bank as a snake is drawn from the hole,
They bellow one to the other, the frighted ship-bells toll,
For day is a drifting terror till I raise the shroud with my breath,
And they see strange bows above them and the two go locked to death.

"But whether in calm or wrack-wreath, whether by dark or day,
I heave them whole to the conger or rip their plates away,
First of the scattered legions, under a shrieking sky,
Dipping between the rollers, the English Flag goes by.

"The dead dumb fog hath wrapped it -- the frozen dews have kissed --
The naked stars have seen it, a fellow-star in the mist.
What is the Flag of England? Ye have but my breath to dare,
Ye have but my waves to conquer. Go forth, for it is there!"

Finally, what I think are the greatest words ever written about what it means to be a soldier; but what to the "modern european" English not-a-man, must seem to be nothing but jingositic sentimentalist claptrap:
Henry V; Act four: Scene 3
Willia Shakespeare

This day is called the feast of Crispin.

He that outlives this day, and comes safe home, Will stand a tip-toe when the day is named, and rouse him at the name of Crispin.

He that shall live this day, and see old age, will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours, and say 'To-morrow is Saint Crispin:'

Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars, and say 'These wounds I had on Crispin's day.'

Old men forget: yet all shall be forgot, but he'll remember with advantages what feats he did that day:

Then shall our names,
Familiar in his mouth as household words,
Harry the king,
Bedford and Exeter,
Warwick and Talbot,
Salisbury and Gloucester,
Be in their flowing cups freshly remember'd.

This story shall the good man teach his son;

And Crispin Crispin shall ne'er go by, from this day to the ending of the world, but we in it shall be remember'd;
We few,
we happy few,
we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother;
be he ne'er so vile,this day shall gentle his condition:

And gentlemen in England now a-bed shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap
whiles any speaks that fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.
It is Crispins day, and you are no gentlemen, nor men at all; you are not my brothers; you have not outlived the day. You have died; and gone quietly into your graves in doing so.

If you do not understand why these words are great.. if you do not understand why this day matters so, your manhoods ARE cheap; and you should indeed hold them so...

No, you cannot, for you have sold them, and sold them cheap; so you may pretend the world is no longer a rough place.

You are nothing but Quislings, cowering in your corners, praying for the bad men to go away, because they make you feel uncomfortable. Harry is dead, Horatius is gone, John Bull is but a parody; a memory of "the bad old days".

... Perhaps one more set of words from an English Man would be appropriate here
People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.
-- Eric Arthur Blair, known as George Orwell

Friday, May 27, 2005

My REAL order is...

A 5 shot mocha latte, but this is cute...

You're a Cappucinno.
You're a Cappucinno!

What Kind of Coffee are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

What it really means

Want to see a grown man or woman cry? Read this and then Look in a mirror.

-- Trace Adkins

never thought that this is where I’d settle down
I thought I’d die an old man back in my hometown
They gave me this plot of land
Me and some other men
For a job well done
There’s a big white house, sits on a hill, just up the road
The man inside, he cried the day they brought me home
They folded up a flag
And told my mom and dad
‘We’re proud of your son’

And I’m proud to be on this peaceful piece of property
I’m on sacred ground, and I’m in the best of company
I’m thankful for those thankful for the things I’ve done
I can rest in peace, I’m one of the chosen ones
I made it to Arlington

I remember Daddy brought me here when I was eight
We searched all day to find out where my granddad lay
When we finally found that cross
He said ‘Son, this is what it costs
To keep us free’
Now here I am, a thousand stones away from him
He recognized me on the first day I came in
And it gave me a chill
When he clicked his heels
And saluted me

And I’m proud to be on this peaceful piece of property
I’m on sacred ground, and I’m in the best of company
I’m thankful for those thankful for the things I’ve done
I can rest in peace, I’m one of the chosen ones
I made it to Arlington

And every time I hear twenty-one guns
I know they brought another hero home to us

We’re thankful for those thankful for the things we’ve done
We can rest in peace, ‘cause we are the chosen ones
We made it to Arlington

Yeah, dust to dust
Don’t cry for us
We made it to Arlington
If you don't tear up to this, what the hell is wrong with you.

That is what memorial day is really about. It's not beer and barbeques and a day off work; it's about duty, honor, and sacrifice. Please remember that this weekend.

Layeth the Smacketh Down

As I've mentioned several times before, I'm the moderator of the Nation of Riflemen Forums at KimDutoit.com.

Generally speaking this is a pretty easy gig, and I get great joy in being able to help out my fellow RKBA, and freedom loving friends have a good forum experience.

But sometimes, the assholes show up; of one stripe or another.

Suprisingly enough we don't get a lot of Gun Fearing Weenies (GFW); or shrill liberal idiots. The biggest problem wehave is with fntasy gunners. You know; counterstrike warriors who spout off about how great this or that is, meanwhile the only gun they've ever held had "airsoft" on the box.

Sometimes though, we just get total assholes. Such was the case this evening. The background here, this guy was kicked off yesterday for REPEATEDLY being an asshole over the course of about three weeks:

OldStyle (posting under the fraudulent account Bluejay): Hi, oldstyle here. I know I was kicked off but I don't care. i am actually 52 years old and have been a gunsmith for 21 years. I am also a collector of antique firarms I have 32 antique handguns and 39 antique rifles plus 11 antique shotguns and 19 modern guns. I know that Kim Du Toit is the host and I don't care his post was very inacurate. I live in America, in America it is OK to disagree with someone. I disagree with every democrat that is elected in this country. I would tell Bill Clinton he and his bitch Hillary are wrong to their face. So I don't care what you say.
I dunno about you, but somehow I doubt he's really 52 and a 21 year gunsmith; but stranger things have happened.
Chris Byrne: Great, you get to disagree all you want. You dont get to be rude, or an asshole unless Kim or I say so.

Hell, you may even be right; in that the Astra does have collector value as an unusual firearms design. I don't care. You were rude, and an asshole. Being rude and an asshole is against our rules. You were banned.

This isn't America, this is KimDutoitland. More to the point, this is private property and by willfully accessing this site after being banned you have done so without authorization, and in violation of our terms of service.

Yes geographically, this is America; and in America that is a felony. Look it up if you like. Start with a search of the name Kevin Mitnick.

Why you would even want to do this; and why at 52 you are so emotionally stunted as to find this necessary I'll never know, but I'm going to ban you again.

If you post under any other name or sign up with any other email address I'll call up your ISP admin and have them drop you as a system cracker; they'll do it in a hot minute because ISP's are cowards desperately afraid of lawsuits, and I have logs of everything you've done here.

Or you can jsut apologize for being a rude asshole and join the rest of us in our spirited but civil discussions. I'll even re-instate your other account if you like with the original name.

Otherwise go away, and don't come back.
Ok so I was harsh, but I think fair here. offered another chance; I even conceded he very well may have had a point... some people the "anonymity" of the internet makes them think they canbe as rude as they want to be.

But the internet isn't actually anonymous; at least not without significant skill and effort. 30 minutes later I'm going through some membership information and I see the asshole has tried to sign up twice more with different names... thats fucking it, time for the smackdown:

Chris Byrne: Ok, that's it. I was giving this asshole another chance, and I find out he tried to register under yet another name...


A user of your internet access services, identifying himself first as
"oldstyle", with the email address xxxxxxx@gbronline.com and then
as "bluejay" has repeatedly accessed, or attempted to access, our web
based forum systems after being banned; in violation of our terms of

I informed the individual that I would contact their ISP's abuse and
security co-ordinator if they attempted to access our systems again.
After being warned against this behavior, the individual then attempted
to access our systems again using another fraudulent account.

This user was accessing our systems from the IP address xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx
(a melbourne IT registered netblock) as of 1:31am US central standard
time (CST), Friday, May 27th, 2005. His last prior unauthorized access
was from xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx on 05/25/05 at 11:54 pm CST."

Remember folks, sysadmins know how to deal with this sort of bullshit. We are friendly people here, very tolerant of other folks opinons; and we are all for giving people second chances.

Lord knows I can be the biggest asshole of them all.

What will NOT be tolerated is violating our rules, or terms of service.

I'm an IT operations manager, who up til a few weeks ago was a security consultant. I do this sort of shit for a living. You do NOT fuck with my friends.

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Who'da Thunk it?

Too bad the only truely increadible, mind blowing oral sex I recieved was from a girl who turned out to be a slut. Whooda thunk it? --Dustin
Dustin is a friend of mine who's been through some rough family shit, and some rough women shit, in the last couple months; but I've heard this "complaint" often.

I hate to do this to you man, but you're full of shit on this one. The girls you have been dealing with werent sluts; they were tramps, and theres an important difference.

What's wrong with sluts? Absolutely nothing; unless you are one of those prissy moralists who think that sex is wrong outside of marriage (leaving aside religious faith); or one of those women who feel that sluts are a threat to them (and arent you little miss insecure).

Now I make a distinction between a woman who likes sex, and has similar sexual morals as a man does (a slut); and a woman who fucks around because shes trying to get revenge on something (her family, her father, herself), or because she has no self esteem (a tramp).

The first is a great thing, the others are something you want to stay as far away from as possible.

But let's get back to that first one. So long as you know that's what you're getting in to, and she doesnt lie about it to you, or her other partners, sluts are great.

You both get to have great sex, and so long as neither of you give a shit about what the other is doing, it can go on as long as you want.

Friends with benefits, fuckbuddies, whatever you want to call it. Throughout most of my life I've generally had a couple around, who would just call me up some time "Hey Chris, you busy, can I come over", and we'd have amazing sex, and talk for a while, have some fun, probably some more amazing sex, and then she'd leave (or vice versa).

That's fucking great; and there is no reason anyone should feel guilt or shame over that.

Of course this assumes you are both being smart, using protection, and assuming she has relatively good judgement. And guess what, if shes the good slut, rahter than the crazy tramp type; she will almsot certainly take good care of herself, and choose her partners better than YOU have.

Sluts are the ones who will do interesting, wild, crazy things with you; like wear a schoolgirl uniform with stockings and heels for you, then bend over the hood and take it from behind in the stadium parking lot while the football game is going on... "HE... COULD... GO... ALL... THE... WAAAAAYYYY!!!!!!!"

My girlfriend will kill me for writing this, but she's a slut. The GOOD kind. She loves sex, she's good at it, she doesn't feel guilty about it. For most of the almost year we've been off and on together we werent exclusive, and we could, and would have sex with others. It's only recently that we've stopped that and are just seeing each other now. I don't know how that will work out, but I feel no pressure to try and force things to work. If they do, great, if not, then we still love each other and care about each other, and are friends, and may even keep having great sex with each other.

Can someone tell me how this is a bad thing?

And guess what again; sluts make good marriage prospects. No seriously. Drop that moralistic bullshit and think about it. Sluts don't cheat, because they don't have to. They know they have all the other options, and they've chosen this one. If she's a good slut, you've both been completely honest with each other; you aren't settling down for the sex; you KNOW this is the time, this is the one, and this is the way.

Not only that, but they are far less likely to have that semi-pathological drive towards marriage some women seem to get upon hitting 27 or so years old (it doubles at 30, and doubles again at 35). I have never seen a good slut say to the man she loves "You have to marry me or I'm leaving you".

All in all, I love sluts; and I wish there were more of them. No matter what people seem to think, there are a hell of a lot more tramps than most will ever know or admit to (some just hide it well), and a hell of a lot fewer sluts.

Go. Read. Now

The Geek with a .45 knocked one out of the park yesterday.

I smiled, and dialed up the Bill of Rights, pointing to my favorite clause.

"BD, you're not in Somalia anymore. Sitting in closets and trunks all across America are 295 million firearms; personal, private property owned by 80 million Americans. Literally, we have enough private guns to arm everybody, from infants to 100 year olds. That is the TRUE arsenal of freedom.

If it gets as bad as you think it might, everyone will show up, and we'll outnumber them 40 to 1. They don't have a chance.

Let's not be so optimistic though. Let's assume that not everyone shows up for that party. Let's say that, oh, maybe 10% think it's worth getting out of bed for. Don't you think that 800,000 heavily armed, pissed off Americans might inspire a government dedicated to evil to be...circumspect?"

I looked at BD, while it sunk in. He had a distant look in his eyes, as he reread the Second Amendment. I don't know what he was thinking. Perhaps he was wondering if he would have had to flee his homeland if it weren't so easy for relatively small, undisciplined gangs of armed thugs to run things. "80 million Americans have guns? Really? This is true? Enough for everybody?"

I nodded. "Yup."

His eyes snapped to mine, the faraway look replaced by awe and hope.

"Your Constitution....it is....like no other. It is....awesome. It is...." Words failed him, and he gestured helplessly.
I have had a few of those moments myself, and it is both an honor, and a privilige to awaken someone to the true meaning of freedom, and the right to keep and bear arms.

Oral Sex, Pizza, and Documentation

  1. "Oral sex is like pizza: When it's good, it's GREAT; and when it's bad, it's still pretty damned good"

  2. "Documentation is like oral sex: When it's good, it's GREAT; and when it's bad, it's still pretty damned good"
That is unfortunately not true, for any of those three items.

Bad pizza is just plain disgusting. Unfortunately there isn't a hell fo a lot of good pizza around here in AZ. NYPD, and Oreganos are both decent (NYPD is a lot like Boston style neapolitan or sicilian... kind of like what Papa Ginos would be if it werent a chain pizza place); but there isn't any really GREAT pizza here.

Unfortunately throughout most of America, all you can get is bad pizza. Pizza slut, spaminos, and little pukers are NOT real pizza; and no matter how much you like them, they arent GOOD pizza.
"First the spankings, then the oral sex"
Bad oral sex sucks.

Forgive the HORRIBLE pun, but I couldnt resist. Bad oral sex does indeed suck, and not in the good way. Good oral sex can be fucking incredible. It can be among the most pleasureable of experiences.

The problem? Most people aren't any good at oral sex. Most men have no clue about women ANYWAY, never mind about going down; but what gets me is most women...

I swear to you most women seem to think that just because their mouth is on your dick, it's going to be the greatest thing in the world.

As the recipient of vast quantities of bad head, let me jsut say this isn't so. Sure there are a few guys who are so pathetically grateful to be getting their cock sucked that a gentle lick and blow will do the job for them; but anyone over the age of 21, and under the age of 45-65 (depending on vigourousness).. at least if they are unmarried for much of that time anyway... will know better.

Nothing makes me lose my wood quicker than bad oral sex. It jsut throws me right off the mood entirely. Not only that, but if you try and tell women what to do, most of the time they get all bitchy about it like "don't look a gift horse in the mouth".

Even if you can find someone who kinows what they are doing, it takes me a looong fucking time to cum,and you have to be doing the right thing that whole time, or I jsut won't. Sure I'll really enjoy myself, and it will feel great, but I'm just not gonna get off that way.

Dont get offended if I don't cum ladies, hell I have a hard time getting my SELF off.

I'm lucky in that my GF is both very good with her mouth, and very much enjoys giving pleasure. This is a point we are both TOTALLY in agreement on BTW.

Now back to men... most of us are hopeless when it comes to oral sex. "Uhhhhh, thats the clit right, and I just lick that and she cums right".

Oh yeah, that works. Really it does.

First of all, most women will not get off with jsut clitoral stimulation; and again, if you dont do it jsut right, she "resets" (jsut like some guys do); so you could be doing great, and then one wrong lick, or fingernail etc.. and thats it; she aint cuming for a while.

For both women and men, let me say... patience, creativity, and stamina. And when you find something that makes your partner feel very good, keep doing that until your partner tells you different. Partners, you need to give feedback, or you are going to continue to get bad oral sex...

And finally documentation.

Bad documentation is worse than bad oral sex. Bad oral sex jsut ruins the mood; bad documentation can ruin your whole year.

We have an undocumented code problem, and an undocumented process problem, and an undocumented policy problem and an...

I think you get the piture.

The only thing worse than no documentation is bad documentation, because with no documentation you KNOW you are flying blind and you take the apropriate precautions. With BAD documentation, especially with incorrect docs, the docs themselves make you screw up; and then make it that much harder to fgure out and fix the problem.

Of course documentation IS like good oral sex and good pizza in one way; I'll do a hell of a lot for any of them.


I am at a loss for words.....

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Bolivian Marching Powder

Lorenzo over at Mercutio club remninded me of this little piece of literary narration from Jay McInernys "Bright Lights, Big city", a book I actually liked from I think '84.


You are not the kind of guy who would be at a place like this at this time of the morning. But here you are, and you cannot say that the terrain is entirely unfamiliar, although the details are fuzzy.

You are at a nightclub talking to a girl with a shaved head. The club is either Heartbreak or the Lizard Lounge. All might come clear if you could just slip into the bathroom and do a little more Bolivian Marching Powder.

Then again, it might not.

A small voice inside you insists that this epidemic lack of clarity is the result of too much of that already. The night has already turned on that imperceptible pivot where two A.M. changes to six A.M. You know this moment has come and gone, but you are not yet willing to concede that you have crossed the line beyond which all is gratuitous damage and the palsy of unraveled nerve endings. Somewhere back there you could have cut your losses, but you rode past that moment on a comet trail of white powder and now you are trying to hang on to the rush. Your brain at this moment is composed of brigades of tiny Bolivian soldiers. They are tired and muddy from their long march through the night. There are holes in their boots and they are hungry. They need to be fed. They need the Bolivian Marching Powder."
I have an interesting (well not really, but at least less than banal) connection to the guy who wrote it actually. My aunt Allison used to date the guys brother (or maybe it was his cousin, I cant remember it was 1986); and they kind of viewed themselves as "southern royalty" though actually they were originally from Chicago I think...

Anyway, I always liked that little bit; at one point I could remember it all by heart, though that time has long passed. Thankfully we have the miracle that is Google these modern days.

Although I've never been a coke user, I have been in that exact state of mind. 6 am, all night long with god knows how many women; kissing, touching, dancing, sweating... maybe that last one wasn't a woman, but she sure looked like it; and damn could she dance...

Yeah, I've been there.

Do I miss that shit... eh.... sometimes yeah.

When I was in Ireland, after I split with my wife, and after the Lisa affair I went a bit nuts. I had weeks and weeks where I wasnt working, and I'd jsut go out to goth and metal places and just freak all night friday saturday sunday... sleeping on the floor in some girls house while her boyfriend is off in cork or summat...

But it was fun. So much fun it was work. So much work it was exhausting. Then it wasn't fun any more.

Yeah... I've been there; and it didnt take any bolivian marching powder to get me there.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Meme Tag

Okay so Eric tagged me with this meme, on a subject near and dear to my heart.


I read more than is entirely healthy (I have to do something when I'm supposed to be sleeping); and I tend to go through books like I do caffeinated beverages (note for the uninformed, that's a HELL of a lot).

So here goes:

1. Total Number of Books I've Owned:

hmm... Ever, at any one time, or right now.

Ever is a pretty big number; probably something over 5000.

At any one time is 2400, proabably 1/3 hard cover, and 2/3 paperback (and half -2/3 Sci-Fi at any rate).

Right now is about 300

2. Last Book I Bought:

I bought 11 books the other day at B&N (but STILL haven been able to find Silent America or "Old Mans War" in a store. I'll just bite the bullet and order from Amazon). I don't have the full list handy, but there was some David Weber, Eric Flint, John Ringo, Simon R. Green, and the piece de resistance, Thomas Sowells "Black Rednecks and White Liberals".

That one ought to be an interesting read

3. Last Book I Read:

The last book I finished was David Webers "We Few", the latest in the Roger McClintock series (I think they are officially calling it the Star Empire series or something like that).

I'm currently reading Jim Butchers "Dead Beat", the latest in the Harry Dresden Chronicles.

4. Five Books That Mean A lot to Me:

Oh wow this one is tough... theres so damn many... I'mna have to cheat and list some series or compilations. I'm a big reader of series, and you cant really separate some of thes series from each other.

1. Ok I can't pick out any particular Heinlein book, I know it's cheating but his entire body of work needs to be listed.

2. David Eddings extended series The Belgariad, Mallorean, Elenium, and Tamuli. Tehcnically speaking it's 19 books, set in two different settings, but really they are actually just one continuous really long novel in several parts. They are my favorite Fantasy books of all time.

Some of the best dialogue and humor of any books I've ever rad, of ANY genre; never mind genre fiction.

Some people piss and moan because they are repetitive; but if you havent figured out by the end of the second series that THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THAT WAY, IT'S PART OF THE STORY... well you are just not going to like them.

3. The Tom Clancy Ryanverse novels; because they show that some people really do still give a damn, and still know how to get things done.

4. The collected works of Mark Twain. I would say without question the greatest American writer of all time.

5. The collected works of William Shakespeare; especially Henry V, and "Much Ado About Nothing"

5. Tag Five People to continue this meme on their blog:

I don't do unsolicited chains, but anyone who reads me and WANTS to do this, trackback and I'll link it up.

The Political compass

Ok, so in general I dont care for the political compass; because their questions are pretty clearly libertarian biased, but I was suggesting my very liberal girlfriend (for some reason it always seems to work out that way with me and women) take it and see where she comes out on it.

It had been quite a while since I took it, and I was thinking about it, and realized I've become a bit more of an absolutist over the post few years.

So anyway I took it again, and heres where I came out

The Political Compass

Economic Left/Right: 4.13
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -3.13

You might notice, there isnt a SINGLE candidate anywhere near where I would be on this chart of the most recent presidential election.

The closest to me would be about where the L in Michael Badnariks name is

Maybe I'd fare better internationally?

Nope, guess not. Not a one there in my whole QUADRANT.

I'm really more of a fan of the Pournelle Axes

The statism axis indicates what you feel the proper role of the state is, especially as regards the individual. The rationalism axis measures ... well essentially how much you believe in your fellow mans inherent niceness, reasonability, logicalness, and lack of sin or evil. Pournelle labled it rationality vs irrationality, which isnt the greatest description, but he qualified it by saying he intended it to be an indicator of the attitude towards "planned social progress", and whether it can exist at all, whether it can be imposed from the outside etc...

Basically I look at it as whether or not an informed populace can be trusted to make good choices given apropriate options and resources; and without governmental or media interference.

Generally speaking, conservatives are more trusting of the state than libertarians, and less trusting of our fellow man. Funny enough, so are liberals, but in a different direction. Conservatives trust you with your money but not your genitals, and liberals trust you with you genitals, but not your money.

Frankly I'd like a government that stays out of my bedroom, AND out of my wallet; but since that would require a mass rising in armed revolution and a wholesale slaughter of the political classes, and the media; I don't think it will happen any time soon.

On this chart I would fall in at about a 2, 4 (about the same as say Jerry Doyle, maybe a little left of Tammy Bruce or Laura Ingraham), meaning that I dont particularly trust the state very much, though a bit more than Ayn Rand, and I don't particularly trust my fellow man very much, but a bit more than say, Sylvia Plath (god knows why they still force the shit down peoples throats); and I DO believe in the free excercise of choice and will... tempered with responsibility and consequence.

I'm guessing that the GF will be somewhere in between a 3,3 and a 4,4 on the pournelle chart (about my mirror image), and I'd guess that on the political compass she'll be about the mirror image of me as well, at a -4,3

Like a Norman Rockwell painting...

...Used to be a compliment. Over the past 20 years it's become one of those faux ironic sneers of the urban elite.

These are the people who've never SEEN the woods, outside of media depictions (yet will tell you exactly what to do with YOUR land).

These are the people who found "The Blair Witch Project" scary (only someone who's never been in the woods would).

I grew up in New England, mostly about 100 miles from Rockwells home; and he used the environment I grew up in as his model. Now of course I was growing up 30+ years later, but let me tell you something about New England... no matter what happens politically or socially, New England doesn't change.

That's a Massachusetts state trooper by the way, and the uniforms are still the same. Hell, as a little kid I had that same haircut til I was 10.

I love Norman Rockwell. Growing up, my garandmother had a bunch of limited edition prints, sculptures, and even spoons (she was a tchotchke person). My grandfather had a few prints around as well. I was always stricken by the emotion and sentiment... the pure communication contained in his work.

Some lefties (Ironic since Rockwell was one himself a HUGE Roosevelt supporter) seem to think that the Rockwell paintings were just rose colored projections of an America that never was...

They couldn't be more wrong.

Restoring my faith in the essential nature of humanity

Yet further proof that the world is full of stupid people:


SACRAMENTO, Calif. -- A home in Sacramento's south Natomas neighborhood is surrounded by sheet metal, and neighbors are calling it an eyesore.

The D'Souza family lives in the home on Timberwood Court, and claims the aluminium pieces are necessary to protect them from unknown neighbors who have been bombarding them with radio waves and making them sick.

"(It's) a shield to protect against radiation, because microwave radiation is reflected off of aluminium, so it's a protective measure," resident Sarah D'Souza said.

The D'Souzas said the bombardment began after the first anniversary of the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, and that the radio waves have caused them health problems ranging from headaches to lupus.

Sacramento Code Enforcement officials have gotten involved and ordered the family to remove the metal by Monday or face a misdemeanor citation.

"Eleven years in Sacramento and few other years in Southern California and this is the first time I've ever seen (anything like this). The inside of the house is also covered with foil and the beds are covered with a foil-like material as well," Sacramento Code Enforcement spokesman Josh Pino said.

The D'Souzas said they will comply with the order and remove the sheet metal, but they also plan to gather evidence to show city officials what they believe is a problem with radiation.

What really gets me though? It's the entire family.... I mean I can understand one paranoid delusional, but the whole family???

I honestly don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just shit myself with the utter californianess of it all.

Monday, May 23, 2005

Amazingly enough, this one came from Kim

Who normally HATES blogger type things (though he really likes blogger type people).

Your Political Profile

Overall: 70% Conservative, 30% Liberal

Social Issues: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal

Ethics: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal

Okay, that's reasonably accurate; though how exactly they come up with an ethics category out of what questions they ask I'll never know... oh and anyone who knows me knows I'm 100% on personal responsibility, but the way they wrote the questions...

This one is from Kim too, and is really more his style. After all, he came out as a badger, which is... very apropriate; especially if you've ever read "The Fox and the Hedgehog".

Which is funny, because my last name actually means "Son of the Raven". There were a few questions where I could have gone either way, so I went back and did it again, and it came up this:

Funny thing, I went back and did it a third time (because a lot of the questions are pretty ambiguous), and ended up here:

Wellllll.... honestly, if you took ALL the aspects above, and smashed them together, that's be pretty close to me. So I guess I've got Multiple Animal Personality Disorder???????

UPDATE: If at some point during your reading of this, you didn't think "If we build this giant Badger...", then you might be reading the wrong website.

Wittnessing the birth...

Honesty.. a rare comodity in politics or journalism...

This guy is expressing what I think MANY liberals know in their hearts.

They are just plain wrong,
and have been since at least the '70s

Some selected quotations for your enjoyment (and if you're anything like me, you WILL enjoy it):

Solid opening
I'm leaving the left -- more precisely, the American cultural left and what it has become during our time together.

I choose this day for my departure because I can no longer abide the simpering voices of self-styled progressives -- people who once championed solidarity with oppressed populations everywhere -- reciting all the ways Iraq's democratic experiment might yet implode.

My estrangement hasn't happened overnight. Out of the corner of my eye I watched what was coming for more than three decades, yet refused to truly see. Now it's all too obvious. Leading voices in America's "peace" movement are actually cheering against self-determination for a long-suffering Third World country because they hate George W. Bush more than they love freedom.
How many on the left (except maybe Christopher Hitchens) have admitted this?
A turning point came at a dinner party on the day Ronald Reagan famously described the Soviet Union as the pre-eminent source of evil in the modern world. The general tenor of the evening was that Reagan's use of the word "evil" had moved the world closer to annihilation. There was a palpable sense that we might not make it to dessert.

When I casually offered that the surviving relatives of the more than 20 million people murdered on orders of Joseph Stalin might not find "evil'" too strong a word, the room took on a collective bemused smile of the sort you might expect if someone had casually mentioned taking up child molestation for sport.

My progressive companions had a point. It was rude to bring a word like "gulag" to the dinner table.
Ahhh crediting Reagan, and realizing the shallowness of the limousine left.. yes, yes, I can feel the changes in you already my son... come to the dark side... use your frustration, your disgust...
These days the postmodern left demands that government and private institutions guarantee equality of outcomes. Any racial or gender "disparities" are to be considered evidence of culpable bias, regardless of factors such as personal motivation, training, and skill. This goal is neither liberal nor progressive; but it is what the left has chosen. In a very real sense it may be the last card held by a movement increasingly ensnared in resentful questing for group-specific rights and the subordination of citizenship to group identity. There's a word for this: pathetic.
You know, if he keeps thinking this clearly he'll never be allowed back into a university again. After all, he might corrupt young indoctrinated minds with something completely foreign to them: Thought
In the name of "diversity," the University of Arizona has forbidden discrimination based on "individual style." The University of Connecticut has banned "inappropriately directed laughter." Brown University, sensing unacceptable gray areas, warns that harassment "may be intentional or unintentional and still constitute harassment." (Yes, we're talking "subconscious harassment" here. We're watching your thoughts ...).

Wait, it gets better. When actor Bill Cosby called on black parents to explain to their kids why they are not likely to get into medical school speaking English like "Why you ain't" and "Where you is," Jesse Jackson countered that the time was not yet right to "level the playing field." Why not? Because "drunk people can't do that ... illiterate people can't do that."

When self-styled pragmatic feminist Camille Paglia mocked young coeds who believe "I should be able to get drunk at a fraternity party and go upstairs to a guy's room without anything happening," Susan Estrich spoke up for gender- focused feminists who "would argue that so long as women are powerless relative to men, viewing 'yes' as a sign of true consent is misguided."
Has someone been force feeding this guy Ann Coulter, Neil Boortz, Laurah Ingraham, and Michael Reagan?

Hell he's definitely banned for life from any university campus... in fact I'd guess he'd be arrested for heresey if he ever goes to San Francisco again.
America must now focus on creating healthy, self-actualizing individuals committed to taking responsibility for their lives, developing their talents, honing their skills and intellects, fostering emotional and moral intelligence, all in all contributing to the advancement of the human condition.

At the heart of authentic liberalism lies the recognition, in the words of John Gardner, "that the ever renewing society will be a free society (whose] capacity for renewal depends on the individuals who make it up." A continuously renewing society, Gardner believed, is one that seeks to "foster innovative, versatile, and self-renewing men and women and give them room to breathe."
Eric Cowperthwaite has some words about this, in his essay "Why I am a Liberal". You see, the author IS still a Liberal; but Americas "progressive left" never really was.

He's just now realized this...
Leftists who no longer speak of the duties of citizens, but only of the rights of clients, cannot be expected to grasp the importance (not least to our survival) of fostering in the Middle East the crucial developmental advances that gave rise to our own capacity for pluralism, self-reflection, and equality. A left averse to making common cause with competent, self- determining individuals -- people who guide their lives on the basis of received values, everyday moral understandings, traditional wisdom, and plain common sense -- is a faction that deserves the marginalization it has pursued with such tenacity for so many years.

All of which is why I have come to believe, and gladly join with others who have discovered for themselves, that the single most important thing a genuinely liberal person can do now is walk away from the house the left has built. The renewal of any tradition that deserves the name "progressive" becomes more likely with each step in a better direction.
My friends, what you are witnessing is the birth of a libertarian.

HT: Lucianne

I think NZ Bear finally got things fixed

Because I'm finally listed as a Large Mammal, with 216 links.

My link count has been WILDLY fluctuating for weeks, from 56 one day to 96 the next day; 72 yesterday, and 216 today.

I think the 216 is accurate, because I'm a member of the Alliance of Free Blogs, and I've got 125 unique links in technorati.

Anyone else in the alliance see their link counts go crazy lately? Anyone NOT in the alliance see anything?

No AC, 115 here...

Just fucking shoot me now.

My AC is completely dead; and has been for a couple months, but at least the weather has been semi tolerable (with lots of fan action, and me at work for most of the hot day anyway).

I told the complex and my landlady about it when it first went, but I didnt press. THen a couple weeks back it started getting VERY hot, so I asked the complex. THey said they'd check out the roof vents, and the feed line setc.. and get back to me. They did that last week. I've been leaving messags for my landlady ever since.

Her cousin called me a few days ago and said "let me get some estimates"... well she finally got back to me last night to say "Ok could you find someone to fix it yourself? I've been too busy to get any estimates" ... why that didnt happen WEEKS ago I don't know, but anyway...

So the guy comes out this morning, sees that the AC breaker is tripped, has me flip it over and turn on cool; nothing. He hits the roof (third floor vaulted cieling condo) and comes back down a few minutes later "Oh yeah, the whole things dead. Condenser burst, and the compressors siezed up, with a shorted motor. Almost looks like the thing got hit by lightning" which is entirely possible actually, the last time it was working was during a big series of storms.

It's expected that tomorrow will be at or above the all time record for the date of 113; which means in my neighborhood we'll probably see over 120...


UPDATE: So I'm stuck in an all day "emloyee orientation", which is fun since I've been in the company for a month as of this week; and I get a call from my landlady:

"Chreees, Chrees, can you hear me, this is ginger" - yes my landlady sounds a lot like Margaret Chos mother.

"Chreees, the air conditioning people jsut called, they are there with the air conditioner and they need you to let them in. I am heading over there now can you come down here?"

Now understand, they told me they would CALL me today to setup a time for tomorrow afteroon or wednesday, so this was somewhat unexpected (though not really unwelcome). So I blast down here fom work (its only 15 minutes with no traffic), and they are getting the crane setup to lift the new unit into place etc...

Anyway, 1 hour later, I've got cooling; or at least the start of it. It'll take a few hours to really get cooled down; but at least I'll beable to sleep tonight.

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Lock up your daughters...

And liberals take cover; cuz the craziest blue beanie sumbitch I know is cocked, locekd, and ready to rock (with an M240 no less).

Thats right....

Commence with the screaming and the running and the hair pulling and the FREUNDLAVEN!!!!

Objects of lust , Volume One - Custom Auto Pistols

Let's talk about some objects of great lust... at least from a firearms perspective anyway; the female variety I leave to others (my google search results are odd enough as they are already).

In volume one I want to talk about some ATTAINABLE itmes in the Custom Auto Pistol world. It's a realistic wishlist if you will. Nothing plated in solid gold, nothing super collectable, just good lustworthy shooters; I won't buy a gun I don't plan on shooting every week, or at least every few months (for say a hunting rifle, or a superthumenblitzenboomer).

Note I say volume one, more will be forthcoming.

So what prompted this was the recent 1911/.45 auto discussions. They have me thinking once again about Yost, Wilson, Les Baer, and Ed Brown (among others).

People look at the list of modifications to my carry 1911 and they ask me "Why in the hell would you do all that to a perfectly good gun" or worse "See, the 1911 isn't all that great. You yourself had to make all those changes to make it right"...

That's not it at all guys. A truly custom handgun is at the same time, a work of art, and a piece of engineering and craftsamanship perfection.

A custom buildup from a great smith (like those mentioned), will be EXACTLY what you want, and it willshoot exactly the way you want. Everything will be just right. Tolerance and gaps will all match up perfectly, finished will have no nicks and blemishes, sharp edges will be properly crisp and rounded edges will be properly smoothed...

I know it sounds like I'm nitpicking, but you really need to feel the difference between a custom piece, and a factory pice to understand. Even the semi-custom items like the production Wilsons, Baers, and Browns, are GREAT, but they arent quite perfect; because there are tolerances involved in production. With a custom piece, the only tolerances are the mechanical limits, and what you are willing to pay for

An aside on that subject:
I knew a guy with a LARGE custom and historical gun collection (as in probably a couple million dollars worth). He showed me a model 29 in deep blue, that I literally could not see the sideplate join on. There was seemingly no seam in the barrel to frame join. The crane to frame gap was almost invisible. The hard parts were color case hardened in the most beautiful pattern. The finish iteself looked like polished blue hematite with little brownish, silverish, and goldish reflections.

It was the most perfect revolver I've ever seen. This is the gun that GOD must use when he sees a pesky asshole he wants to strike down from heaven.

He said it cost him $2500 in the late '70s (god knows what it would cost today). He had hired a master smith who was retired from S&W by Bangor Punta to do it for him, it took the guy almsot a year to get it back to him, and the guy had died a few months later. He also said that it was worth every penny.

Now, I already own a Wilson buildup; I bought it for myself as my 21st birthday present. This was before the semi-production Wilsons were readily available, and it was $2700, from my frame and slide (which were $800 to begin with). It is the PERFECT Gov't length 1911 as far as I'm concerned. Everything is exactly right, exactly as I want it, and completely perfect.

Unfortunately, it's in a storage unit in Milpitas, California; and has been since 2001.

A side note:
This is along with my top end of the mid range (onkyo, denon, KLH, Boston) home theater system, most of my knives and swords (between 50 and 100k worth, including a full meiji era daisho, and a 16th century spanish longsword), another 30 grand worth of computer equipment (Sun, Intel, SGI, nokia, cisco, and a couple of macs), all my tools (full modeling and small piece machining setup, plus some furniture making gear), a full two bedroom condos worth of furniture, some of it specially made for my size and injuries (god do I miss that superking bed with the special belgian bad back mattress. Never slept better in my life), a lot of personal items and photos etc.., a few hundred DVD's, a few thousand CD's, and my two remaining guitars (a '94 Strat' ultra plus in special edition beryillium ble, only 300 made; and a takamine shellback with internal fishman preamp).

I packed up everything and put it all into storage prior to heading out for Ireland; when I was going to bring everything over. Then my marriage broke up, and I decided to just leave everything where it was for a while, and I started paying the storage fees ($170 a month).

Unfortunately I have a feeling they are NO LONGER in a storage unit in California, because I wasn't invoiced for the unit last year; and I've been trying to get them on the phone ever since to no result. I've just had higher priorities than dealing with it... and honestly I think I'm trying to avoid the concrete proof that whatevers left of my personal sacred items are now gone, along with everything that went in the fire, the flood, the marriage dissolution, and multiple transcontinental and intercontinental moves.

Anyway enough with my vent...

So, what do I REALLY want when it comes to handguns?

1. Full house Yost 1* elite pistol package:

But I want mine in stainless, commander length, bull barrel, wedge mainspring housing, external extractor and short trigger, on a Caspian Ti frame (10rd), with a Black-T finish.

Yosts buildups are 100% custom, he really on lists the packages as guidelines, and his work is as good, or better, than anyone in the business. I may not agree with Col Cooper on everything(on lots of things, but not everything), but for the last aslmost 20 years, whenever you heard him braggin on the gunsmith team at Gunsite, it was Ted he was braggin on (until a couple years ago when he went out on his own).

Oh, and he'll build'em in 10mm as well

Price: about $2500 as ordered
Availability: 18 months to two years
Possiblity: Almost certain. I WILL order one of these some time in the next few years

Oh and while I'm ordering from Yost-Bonitz Customs, I might just order one of these as well...

But for the BHP, I'm leaning more towards this:

Much as I think Ted Yost is the best 1911 guy around, Wayne Novak is the acknowledged god of BHPs. There are a few guys in England, and one guy in Ireland who does some F'ING INCREDIBLE work (I've fired a couple, and I wanted to steal them); but they only work for the military. Getting someone who REALLY knows what they are doing with a BHP is well nigh impossible anymore (this was not the case in the '60s and '70s when there were probably better BHP smiths around than 1911 guys); and Novak is really the only guy I know of, who I would trust to build a great pistol.

NOTE: Reader Randy suggest Bill Lathrop, master gunsmith of Cylinder and Slide as well. I have heard great things about their full house buildups, but I've never known anyone who had one, or had a chance to shoot one so I can't make any recommendations. That said, their custom smithing packages are VERY nice, with a great reputation; and unlike many other smithing shops with good reps, they will do serious work on almost any type of high quality pistol, not jsut specializing in one(usually the 1911). I HAVE tried a couple of C&S 1911s and a C&S SAA, and both were damn near flawless. The only negative I've ever heard on C&S from a technical standpoint, is that the Safety Fast Shooting system (a hammer down single action conversion for 1911s and BHPs) is an iffy prospect.

I'm a huge fan of the Browning HiPower; John Browning considered it his best handgun work, correcting the problems the 1911 had (See Unc, I KNOW the 1911 has problems, I just think they are all fixable, and when fixed it IS the greatest handgun of all time); and he and Dieudonne Saive deserve a huge vote of thanks for making the GOOD high capacity handgun a practical reality (in 1935 no less).

If we are going with a custom buildup anyway, I want a forged stainless frame and slide, and the full 1 of 100 Special Ops Package with Black-T finish

But here's the kicker, since it's on a new forged frame and slide, I want it built up for .357 sig instead of 9mm or .40.

Now if only someone would build it in .45acp (or even better, 10mm).

Price: about $3000 as ordered
Availability: Two years plus
Possiblity: Incredibly tempting, but probably not any time soon. A stock BHP with a little tweaking is almost as good without the two plus year wait

Back to 1911's, and thinking of carry pieces specifically, I'm intrigued by this:

It's the Ed Brown KobraCarrY (no I have no idea whats up with the spelling and caps, thats just how they do it).

Eds Kobra guns all have a scalloping treatment he calls "snakeskin", that looks like it will have a nice grip to it. I've tried other scalloped guns, and some were good, some not. Scalloping tends to either be too sharp, or not enough; but if you can get it right, I think its a better surface than sharp serrations.

The Ed Brown Bobtail system is a great idea for carry guns. What they do is cut the mainspring housing and rear of the frame into a reverse angle from the middle of the mainspring hosuing, to the back of the magwell; then smoothly radius the cut. This greatly decreases both the printing tendency of 1911s (the sharp butt prints handily), and the snag tendency as well. Plus, it's very confortable, and can improve your grip. I've held and fired an Ed Brown Bobtail gov't length gun, and I think it might make a great carry piece in commander length.

And of course I'd like it in Black-T with all the toher things I like on my ideal 1911's

Actually, although I generally dont recommend going below 4" in barrel length, I think I'd like to see a 3.5" bobtail version with a full frame, as pretty much the ultimate concealment 1911. The Springer and Kimber ultracompacts and ultracarrys have reliability problems because they are so short; the slide cycle time and lockup gemotry are right on the edge. With a custom gun however, I think we can get a 3.5" gun to be completely reliable; as is required for a carry piece.

Price: about $2500 as ordered
Availability: 30-90 days (this is the advantage of the production line customs)
Possiblity: There's a fair chance of it, but if I buy the Yost and I'm as happy with it as I think I will be, then theres really no reason for it

I've been thinking really hard about buying arace gun. Nothing TOO fancy, I'm not looking for heavy optics or anything; but I think I'd like to give USPSA a shot.

To that end, I've been thinking about one of these two guns:

The STI Edge

Or the STI Eagle

Unquestionably the Edge is the better competitive piece for USPSA, but I'm not so sure I want to get quite so racy...

On the other hand, the eagle actually seems like a relatively practical gun. IN fact the bushinged version is even IDPA legal.

Of course the whole point of this IS to have a race gun,... plus, honestly, although I said I didnt want to have any optics, I'd really love to try out one of these:

Above: the DOCTER red dot, mounted on a 1911

This is the smallest, lightest etc... red dot there is; and I'd really love to play with one. Well if I'm gonna have optics anyway, why not go for the big magwell, full race etc...

I dunno, it's just something to think about.

Price: about $2000 as ordered (for either) +$400 for the docter and mount
Availability: 30-90 days
Possiblity: Hmmmmmm... if I get into USPA, and realy like it, VERY likely

Finally, I really want to replace my Wilson. What I'm thinking, is one of the supergrades:

But man, I can't decide on which one. THey're all so good....

Price: $2000 - $3500 depending on exact model and options
Availability: 1 year or so (highly variable, some as short as 30 days some as long as 2 years)
Possiblity: Eventually, almost certain.; in the next two years... probably not.

Alright so whats with nothing other than the 1911s and BHPs? Don't I like toher guns? Hell yeah I do; but there really isnt much call for full on custom work on other guns. I've seen some mildly customized SIG's that I like; and I'd surely love a CGR Glock, or a fully worked over USP Tactical; but I'm not lusting over any of them. As great guns as they are, honestly, they jsut arent all that interesting to write about or speculate over.

Of course when I do my STOCK autopistol list, that'll be a different story entirely.

Now... A note on the possibilities of purchasing ANY of the above; especially to those of you who think that spending $3000 on a gun is just "an obscene waste of money" or those who would say something like "You're lucky you don't have kids".

I'm unmarried, under 30, I have no kids, I have almost no debt (and what I DO have is certainly being paid off first) and a decent inheritence coming to me from my grandfathers estate when my Nana passes (high six figure to low seven figure after taxes, depending on how long she lives) God knows I don't want her to die; and as mean as she is she'll probably live to 100 (her mother is alive at 97), I'm jsut talking about numbers.

When I'm working, I make good money; and I'm working right now. I make full 401k contribution wth matching (6% of my pay matched for 12%, in a fund with 13% annualized right now), I get full medical dental, and optical.

My rent is only $650 a month, and my other bills only total up to about $1000 a month.

My main expense right now is my mother, who is extremely ill, and is unlikely to live out the year (they give her about a 1 in 5 shot of surviving the brain surgeries she needs). When she passes her insurance will pay off her house etc.. plus she has a TON of insurance besides (about 2 million beyond her debts) which then goes to me and my brother.

When I wasnt working for several months (mostly because of my mother). I DIDN'T buy anything like this. In fact after I went through my savings paying her bills and mine, I SOLD a bunch of my stuff to help me keep us going. I finally got down to the point where the only things I had left to sell were very personally important to me.

Hell, I'm STILL BROKE right now. I've just had my first full paycheck, and it's going to pay bills. What's left over (along with the next two paychecks) is split between saving for 3 months worth of bills in reserve, and going to pay off the few thousand dollars (less than 5k) in debt that I've incurred over the past few months. Oh and to those folks who gave me, or loaned me money; thank you, god bless you. I can't tell you how much it helped me so much to get through those last two months.

Only when that debt is paid off will I start buying anything; and the first step will be car repairs. After that I need to buy some new furniture, to replace the bed and sofa that both broke while I was broke. Then I will put away at least $5k more for bills and emergencies, maybe 10k (I had 7k last time and it was gone too quickly).

Only after that is done will I start looking to buy anything high end again; but you can bet I am going to do so, and I'm going to enjoy it (and I'm going to start flying, and performance driving again).

I live in a half decent condo in a nice neighborhood; I have a girlfriend who isnt' expensive to maintain; and I don't live extravagantly.

What I spend my money one is my toys, my friends, and my hobbies. DVD's, music, video games, and the gear to play them on; Guns, and gun stuff; Watches; Car stuff etc...

It's guys like me who buy Porsches and Breitlings and Ducatis, and custom guns; because we can.

I earned this shit, and you are damn right I'm going to enjoy it. If that offends your moral sensibilites, good for you; now go away before I bitchslap you with my $3000 watch.

Honestly I'd rather have a great wife, and great kids. I would do ANYTHING to have a mother who isn't dying. Unfortunately I don't have any of those things; I have to find and take my pleasure in life where I can, and this gives me pleasure.

Friday, May 20, 2005

Having an Episode

Well, I just saw Episode Three...

Lets just say I wasn't disappointed. Unfortunately that's because my expectations were extraordinarily low.

It wasn't so much a BAD movie, it just wasn't any good really.

How do I dislike thee let me count the ways

  1. Hayden Christiansen must be the illigitimate child of Al Gore
  2. David Prowse is almost 6'7"' tall, Hayden Christiansen isn't
  3. Darth Vader should not remind one of Peter Boyle in "Young Frankenstein"
  4. Did I mention that Christiansen has the personality and flair of dry wheat toast with mayonaise... or perhaps wheatabix crackers
  5. Ewan Macgregor is a great actor... When he's allowed to say more than five words in a row
  6. Ewan Macgregor is a great actor... When he has more than two facial expressions
  7. Lightsabers are supposed to have light reflections
  8. Objects are supposed to have shadows
  9. Huge star system spanning space battles shouldn't look like B roll for Star Trek TNG
  10. Did I mention that the Halo 2 trailer/cutscenses have better special effects... no really
  11. One is not supposed to cringe painfully when the main character speaks with his love interest
  12. That whole animated block of wood thing (no really, it's that bad)
  13. Natalie Portman is a good actress (and a staggeringly beautiful woman)... in every movie but this one
  14. Plot anyone...???
  15. Oh and story...???
  16. Buddha lite...???
  17. Character developement...???
  18. Deus Ex Machina...???
  19. Even kicking ass, yoda looks like a muppet and the dialogue....
  20. "If you're not with me, you are my enemy!"...."NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"
Okay so it's not ALL bad. There were a lot of funny moments (some intentional, some not), some fairly kick ass action, and the effects that don't look fake look frikken kickass.

Although the entire CONCEPT of general grevious is incredibly stupid, it was actually "played" quite well, and the ObiWan/Grevious fight is very kick ass.

I WANT one of those naboo space yachts man

Oh and the almost universally bad acting has one major exception; Ian McDiarmid. He completely controlled every scene he was in, and his dialoge delivery was letter perfect. Tone, facial expression, everything. THis guy REALLY makes you FEEL the emperor, as both completely evil, and coldly logical, and even slightly sympathetic... but not... It's kind of hard to explain. Honestly his performance alone is at least worth a DVD rental.

Is the movie worth watching? Sure, even if you aren't a Star Wars fan, it's at least good fun. If you ARE a Star Wars fan however, (unless you are a fringefan) if you are a real trufan, then this can't help but be dissapointing. He could have done so much more, so much better...

Go watch Revelations, it's actually a better movie. Or play KOTOR 2; it's a better movie than the movie is, and it's a frikken game.

UPDATE: Ok I have just got to put this one in:

21. What the fuck? Wookies do not look, act,e tc... like that in ANY other part of the starwars universe, and that IS NOT FUCKING KASHYKK