Thursday, November 03, 2005


My brother made me draw my gun on him today.

For those of you who are not long time readers, my brother is a drug dealing asshole who sucks off of my mom, and everyone else around him. He is a liar, a cheat, a thief, and he basically hates everyone and everything (except weed and baseball), and expresses himself freely on that hate.

The only redeeming factor he has at all, is that he lives with my mom, and makes sure she is taken care of on a day to day basis. Of course he wouldnt be doing that if it werent for the fact that because of it he doesnt have to work, and gets free room and board.

So, to today...

There was a gun in a box at my mothers place for a few months. Actually several, but one of them belonged to a friend of mine from another state. I had done some work on it, and was waiting for him to come pick it up.

Well, I went over there to fix my mothers computer (fifth warranty repair from HP. Total piece of shit), and to pickup my friends gun because he was in town this weekend, and heading back out of town today.

A few minutes after I arrived, I had to get a UPS power strip that my brother had removed from my mothers office area, so I could finish setting up her computer. Please understand these things have a 5lb battery in them, and they are not at all light.

Instead of giving me the UPS, he threw it at my head then turned around and flopped down on the couch in the other room. I deflected it with my arms, got up, went into the other room, said "Give me the gun, I'm going" and he said "Oh, I pawned it, it's gone".

Needless to say I was angry and I started yelling at him. He moved to come towards me off the couch agressively, and I kicked him in the head. I then secured him in a front head lock and told him "I want that gun, or the damn pawn ticket RIGHT NOW". He said that it was long gone and what was I going to do about it.

"I SHOULD SHOOT YOU IN THE FUCKING HEAD. Jesus christ Rob DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE. Stealing a fucking gun across state lines is a federal felony, 10 fucking years". He gave me some flip response and he started fighting me again.

Then he managed to get his arm free and he grabbed the butt of my gun on my belt.

I just pushed him back down, cleared back from him and drew my pistol on him.

"Do you understand what you have just done. If you move I'm going to shoot you. Don't think I wont". He came up off the couch pushing my mother away and I just yelled out "My finger is on the fucking trigger you piece of shit", and he backed off.

He calmed down, and I let him up and put my gun away, and he started ranting about ME, and getting up in my face again.; saying I had hurt my mother, insulting me, screaming how dare I pull a gun on him etc... and he made a move to come at me again.

I had enough of it, I secured his head again, and I started choking him out (this time I had full arm control, and my gun side was well away. No repeats of before); and saying "I want the damn gun. I'm not going to fucking prison because of you you piece of shit. Wheres the fucking gun".

Meanwhile my best friend and my near crippled terminally ill mother are trying to get in the middle of this; and I keep telling them to get the hell away they are just making the situation worse. My mother gets pushed to the ground, and theres a big chance of a gun getting loose here.

Finally my mother pleads with me to let him go so I drop him on the ground, and he goes to call the cops. I just got my shit and got ready to leave, and I told him "Go ahead, if you try and make something out of this, you will get nowhere, and you'll just fuck yourself over. And if you come near me, I WILL shoot you."

You have to understand, the house smells very strongly like Marijuana, and theres drug paraphenelia all over the place. Not only that but my brother just got out of jail on an assault charge a few days ago.

My mother says the he didnt pawn the gun, she knows where it is, and she went and retrieved it. The little son of a bitch was just deliberately provoking a fight with me.

He's been telling my friend Jimmy every time he visited, that he was going to start a fight with me next time he saw me, and he did.

The cops came over, and they told him (according to my mother, I had already left before I jsut let lose and beat him to a bloody pile of shit) "Theres nothing to do here. You started an altercation and he acted within his rights. The only thing we can do is give you the paperwork to file a restraining order."

I don't know why he went for my gun. Maybe he thought I really was going to shoot him, maybe he was just trying to get a hold of me, or maybe he was really trying to get my gun away to shoot me; I just don't know.

Remember what I said last week about every fight being potentially life and death? In that fight between brothers, where there was no intent (at least on my part) to seriously harm , there was a real chance I could have killed my brother not just with my gun, but also several times during the fight.

I held back from doing so because he's my brother, but at any time I could have crushed his larynx or broken his neck. Lord knows what would have happened if he had got hold of my gun. Or if I had slipped. Or if he had hit me the wrong way at the wrong time and made me lose it.

I don't want to kill my brother, but he damn near made me do it today.