Thursday, October 22, 2009

Risk and Compliance

For the first time today, TASER international has acknowledged that the use of their electro-compliance device has a higher risk to the health of the restrainee than they have advertised
Taser: Don't shoot stun gun at chest

First time company has suggested there is any risk from its stun guns

AP - updated 8:23 a.m. PT, Wed., Oct . 21, 2009

PHOENIX - Taser International is advising police agencies across the nation not to shoot its stun guns at a suspect's chest.

The Arizona-based company says such action poses a risk — albeit extremely low — of an "adverse cardiac event."

The advisory was issued in an Oct. 12 training bulletin. It marks the first time that Taser has suggested there is any risk of a cardiac arrest related to the use of its 50,000-volt stun guns, The Arizona Republic reported.
Story continues below ↓advertisement | your ad here

Taser officials said Tuesday the bulletin does not state that Tasers can cause cardiac arrest. They said the advisory means only that law-enforcement agencies can avoid controversy if their officers aim at areas other than the chest.

Critics called it a stunning reversal for the company.
We have all of course seen or heard of such incidents as the intransigent elderly woman who was TASED a few months ago in Texas (and many other similar incidents involving the elderly or emotionally disturbed); and most famously of course, of Rodney King, who continued resisting arrest after multiple TASER hits (which is why the officers began beating him. What started as an attempt to physically restrain a violent and intoxicated offender, turned into an emotional free for all).

Less frequently, we hear of someone experiencing cardiac or respiratory arrest, seizures, or nervous system damage from the use of the TASER.

Civil liberties activists have claimed that TASERs have directly caused the death of at least 350 people this decade; and that unjustified use of the TASER device is rampant, with thousands of effective cases of police brutality every year.

I take those claims with a hefty grain of salt.

Unfortunately, it IS clear that there have been a not insignificant number of deaths, either directly or indirectly caused by TASER usage; and that the risks of TASER usage are in fact much higher than law enforcement agencies and individual officers have been trained, or led to believe.

Because of these risks, those same civil liberties activists have called for the TASER device to be banned.

For years, TASER international has utterly denied the possibility of any elevated risk of death or serious injury involved in the use of the TASER.

Today, for the first time, the company acknowledged those risks; but in response suggested something I believe is ridiculous, counterproductive, and may even be harmful. In order to avoid liability, they are advising law enforcement agencies to train their officers to avoid shooting restrainees in the chest...

This is patently ridiculous.

First, the TASER is most effective when shot into the chest (resuming a forward facing subject. The mid back is even more effective). The TASER device works by disrupting neuromuscular co-ordination, and hits outside of center mass are far less effective at causing systemic disruption. Other areas simply do not have the concentrations of nerve and muscle junctions that allow for effective immobilization.

When targeting peripheral areas of the body, effective immobilization may be limited to the localized area of the hit, or to one side of the body. Even hits to the abdomen or pelvis (as Taser international is recommending) are far less effective in immobilization, (especially on larger restrainees) though they are exceptionally painful.

It is entirely possible (though very difficult) to fight through a TASER hit to a peripheral area, whereas it is nearly impossible to do so with a chest hit (unless you are physically huge, wearing heavy clothing that the darts can't get full penetration on, or are very high).

It is also standard tactical doctrine for all projectile weapons training to aim for center mass; and it's damn near impossible to hit a limb in a stressful situation. You don't want to train officers to shoot for other targets under stress, it will just cause more problems.

Even after the department training officers and lawyers dutifully pass on the message from TASER; officers will, RIGHTLY, ignore this warning.

If you're going to restrict TASER usage to targeting peripheral areas of the body, you might as well ban their use entirely.

I believe banning TASERs would be a huge mistake, as would changing the targeting area for the device; but clearly something needs to change.

The problem with TASERs isn't their risks; it's their doctrine for use.

I've been a law enforcement trainer myself, and I've been through various less-lethal force training courses, including TASERs. I've been TASED several times, and have had several other electro-compliance devices demonstrated on me (to great effect).

Officers are trained to view TASERs as, and to use them as, a less harmful compliance option than direct physical contact; with less risk to both the officer, and the restrainee. The TASER is viewed as a less risky, and less harmful option in the continuum of force.

While the less risk to the officer part is true, the risk of great harm to the restrainee is very high. Much higher than that of chemical compliance techniques, and as high as PROPERLY EXECUTED physical restraint and compliance techniques

Improperly executed physical restraint and compliance techniques, unfortunately present nearly as high a risk of fatality as a shooting; and with much greater risk to the officer. Without extensive training, continuing practice, and exceptional strength and physical fitness; it is very difficult for officers to maintain proper physical restraint and compliance techniques. Even with proper technique, the risk to the officer remains much higher than non-contact restraint and compliance techniques.

It is these issues, which in fact prompted much of the development of less-lethal force technologies; including chemical restraints, and electro-compliance devices like the TASER.

So where does this leave us? Where does this leave law enforcement officers; who are simply looking for a way to effectively restrain subjects, with less risk to the officer, and the subject.

This improper perception of risk has created an environment; especially in smaller law enforcement organizations, with lower training budgets and more permissive attitudes towards the continuum of force; where TASER use is not considered serious.

In general, many officers would prefer to use the TASER than other means of enforcing physical compliance; because it presents the least risk to them, and the most compliant restrainee.

Combined this false perception of low risk, with a more permissive attitude, and the undoubted advantages to the officer; and it is understandable why in many jurisdictions it seems that taser usage is out of control, and suspects are being TASEd almost casually.

The use of the TASER should be understood to be (and officers should be trained to this effect) 1/2 step below the use of a firearm in the continuum of force. Officers should be trained in a more realistic assessment of the risks and dangers of the TASER (and other electro-compliance devices).

Additionally, TASER use in the line of duty, should be reviewed with the same diligence as the discharge of a firearm.

I don't want to take the TASER away from officers, as it is a useful and excellent tool that in general DOES increase the safety of both the officer, and the restrainee.

What I want, is for officers, and agencies, to understand, and take the risks and impact of TASER usage more seriously.

HT: Unc

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Oh this modern world



I'm guessing EVERY reaper operator will have this one up on their wall by this time tomorrow.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

From Flu to Sinus

So, I'm an idiot.

As I usually do, I didnt wait long enough to recover from being sick. By Friday I was feeling well enough to head up to Paulden for Rumpshots Revenge this past weekend.

Unfortunately, by Sunday, I was feeling sick again. Monday got worse, and this morning I woke up with a full blown nasty sinus infection. One of the worst headaches of my life.

Oh well. I did it to myself again. As I've done before, and will almost certainly do again.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Brütal Legend is Brütally Awesome

Brütal Legend arrived on my doorstep Friday afternoon, and I managed to finish it early this evening after work.

That means two things, one good, one bad:

1. The game is awesome and engrossing. It's well paced, and involves you with a continuing progression of challenge that means you can play it for 6 hours straight and not get bored.

2. The game is really really short.

No, really really short. I got about 12 hours of game play out of it; and that was half sandbox time. There was only about six hours in the main storyline.

Oh and the side missions are pretty pointless and repetitive, so you can't really extend the play value with those. There's basically no replay value in the single player mode.

The game is kind of an odd fusion of genres; a combination of arcade style melee combat, the ever popular GTA style sandbox drive and fight mission gaming, and resource/unit management based real time strategy.

Oh and of course, METAL!!!!!

If you aren't a big fan of heavy metal, you're going to hate this game. EVERYTHING about this game is metal. The character names, the artwork, the dialog, and of course, the soundtrack; which is a world tour of the history of metal, with 108 songs from 75 bands, spread across the major metal genres (including two songs written just for the game)...

...Though admittedly, the list is heavily weighted towards early 80s metal (which I consider a GOOD thing).

Also, the voice actors are totaly metal; featuring Ozzy Osbourne, Rob Halford, Lemmy, Lita Ford and (debatably metal, and seriously irritating to many people) Jack Black as the main character.

Oh, and continuing his long tradition of kinky bastards, demons, and deliciously evil bad guys; Tim Curry voices the big bad.

If on the other hand you LOVE metal, as I do; the game is great fun.

Is it worth the $56 (for the PS3 anyway)? It was for me. 12 hours worth of entertainment is three fairly long books, 6 movies, maybe 3 dinners out... all of which are roughly comparable more or less in cost (unless you go for library books or rental movies anyway).

There's a different debate out there, as to the escalating costs of video games in general and as to whether those costs are justified; but that's an argument for a different post.

I say, if you like metal, don't hate Jack Black, and like sandbox games; go for it.

Oh, and "The Superfluous Umlauts" would be a great name for a rock band.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Found an anachronism in "Mad Men"

Rather an unusual event apparently, as the production designers are famously anal about continuity, and period accuracy.

At minute 35-37 (as aired), Betty is in Dons home study, and very clearly behind her head, is an omnibus edition of the W.E.B. Griffin books "The Corps: Semper Fi", "A Call to Arms", and "Counterattack"; published in 1986, 1987, and 1990 respectively.

As it happens, I noticed because I own all of those books (and every other book Griffin has ever published under his own name).

Oh and there was one other thing; not anachronisms, but an irritating discontinuity all the same.


The trip to drop off the brother of Dons love interest.

Theoretically, Don was supposed to take the brother from Ossining NY, to Bedford, MA; but instead Don dropped him off "20 miles outside of Framingham".

As it happens, I'm from the Boston area, and in fact lived and worked in the next town over from Framingham for a while. I've driven from Framingham to New York city, and through upstate New York many times.

From Ossining to about 20 miles southwest of Framingham (say, the pike south of Westborough), is about a 3 hour drive with no traffic; maybe two and a half hours if you're lucky. To Bedford, it would be about another 45 minutes or so.

Somehow I don't think an almost 8 hour round trip including at least one fuel stop) would be in the cards after a full day at work (and all the alcohol consumed in said workday). Especially since he started sometime after dinner time, and in full darkness etc... and returned to spend the rest of the night with his girlfriend.

If the scene with Betty immediately following Dons return to his girlfriend was timeline correct, Don would have returned a few minutes before 2am.

Given that it is September in this episode, and we know Don takes the 6:45 train (mentioned in previous episodes; and according to interviews with the writers of the show, they checked timetables from 1963 to be accurate)) and arrived at the girlfriends house in full dark, the earliest he could have left with the brother would have been 8pm.

It is just barely possible that he could have made that trip from 8pm to 2am... just... but then the girlfriend would have known he didn't go all the way to Bedford. He would have had to have at least got a cup of coffee... or driven 100mph the whole way, and made at least TWO gas stops...

Other shows, I don't much care about that sort of thing; but for a show like Mad Men, which are obsessive about continuity and period accuracy... Seriously, they could have checked a map; or just chose a better location (there was a VA hospital in New Haven CT, only 90 minutes from Ossining).

Friday, October 16, 2009

Not surprised, but he's one of us...

Craig Ferguson that is. I was pretty sure he was, given many of his previous statements about this country, citizenship etc...

But I think we can take this as pretty solid proof:



"Join or Die" and the 13 colonies (Though 13 weren't represented individually. New England and Massachusetts were split up into multiple colonies earlier, but not on the cartoon; and Franklin left Georgia and Delaware off entirely ), as published in the Pennsylvania Gazette, in 1754; the first known publicly printed exhortation to the formation of the American nation.

It's pretty clear that Ferguson isn't a liberal. It seems he's mostly a libertarian. OF course, he makes a lot of jokes on the lefty side of things, but look at where he works, and for whom.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Slept 13 of the last 24 hours

But no more than 5 in a row.

Or at least sort of slept. That strange combination of half awake disturbed sleep and stretches of deep "sleep of the dead" that I generally get when I'm sick.

Though if you know me, you know that number is a frikken miracle. I'm usually lucky to get 4-6 hours; and if I get more than 6 I tend to be groggy when I wake up. The only time I sleep more than 8 hours in 24, is when I'm sick.

The fever is mostly gone, though I've still got the hot and cold streaks, and the skin sensitivity. The joint and muscle pain, and sensitive skin are worse. The cough is about the same.

The kids are feeling fine, which is great. Nothing worse than miserable kids stuck in the house. Mel is slightly less miserable than I am.

Here's to another day of slamming fluids, savory soups and broths, and sleeping as much as I can force my body to accept.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

A hundred and twenty six, and halfway...

between three and four tenths...

I feel like Cameron Frye today.

No, not the screaming freaking out neurotic thing (by the by, Alan Ruck was frikken brilliant in that movie, and is totally underrated), I'm just miserable sick at the moment.

The girls bus driver got sick yesterday, and one of the girls wasn't feeling well. Then I started feeling a bit iffy last night; and I woke up this morning with a fever, muscle and joint pain, and light and noise sensitivity.

Oh joy, sounds like flu.

The good news, is that the bus driver went to the hospital, and it isn't swine flu.

At any rate, I'm watching Ferris Beullers day off, and doing paperwork for work while I wallow in flulike misery.

I LOVE that move. No better movie for watching when you're home sick.

Oh and if you haven't seen it in a while, great cameos by... well, tons of folks actually; but really memorable ones by Kristy Swanson and Ben Stein (in the famous attendance scene), and Charlie Sheen (who I'm pretty sure was actually as high as the character he was playing.

It really is the epicenter of 80's teen movies.

Oh and as much as I love the Ferrari 250gt California (a 1961 short wheel base), is it sacrilege to say I love the later 275 spyder even more? The collectors may say so, but I think the 275 is prettier, and by the numbers it's a better performing car.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

En Vin Verite

If you have any interest at all in wine, you should really read some of the several excellent books and articles, or the also excellent documentary, about the 1976 Judgement of Paris.

If you have no interest in wine, you probably have no idea of the significance of that even; but perhaps you'll enjoy a story about the French being hoist on their own petard of arrogance and snobbery.

The judgment of Paris, in this case (it also refers to an earlier event in fine art), refers to a blind tasting of French and California wines, conducted in France in 1976.

It was expected by everyone, especially the organizer of the event; that the French would win handily. Even the U.S. vintners were sure the French would win; if only due to chauvinism and cheating (it was fully expected by the California vintners that the "blind test" would not be).

Instead, a California chardonnay ( Chateau Montelena) was the unanimous top choice of whites by all the judges, and a California Cabernet (Stags Leap) the top choice of reds (though only just edging out the next two French wines).

Prior to this result (and the famous George Tabor Time Magazine article documenting it, and linked up above), very few in the wine world took California wines... or for that matter, any wines not from France... seriously.

After?

Well, in every significant blind tasting since, American wines (mostly California, but some from Washington or Oregon) have beaten French wines.

Every time.

Not only that, but worldwide, California wines outsell French wines by as much as 8 to 1 in some years (French wine, because of the climate, tends to be strongly vintage dependent. Better California wines tend to be much more consistent), and have in general outsold French wines every year since 1982.

Funny thing though: I think the best of Oregon and Washington, and even the best of Chile and Australia; are now better than the best of the same varietals, out of either France OR California.

At any rate, I just watched a dramatization of the events surrounding the Judgement, called "Bottle Shock", and starring... everyone really (seriously, almost every role is a name, or a familiar face).

I know that the movie wasn't very true to the real events, but I enjoyed it very much. I especially enjoyed the performances of Bill Pullman and Alan Rickman (honestly, it's rare I don't like Rickman)... and I didn't absolutely hate Chris "Captain Kirk Jr." Pine.

I won't call it a great movie, but it was fun; and if you like wine, worth watching.

How do you fisk one giant 90 minute lie?

I just watched "who killed the electric car", with the idea that I would fisk it; and that it might at least be interesting.

Within the first three minutes however, there were so many blatant, ridiculous, and illogical flat out lies, that I realized there was no point.

You can't refute utter nonsense; you just dismiss it as that.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Grinding

Doing 10-12 hour days at the moment. We're gearing up for the year end freeze, trying to integrate the two banks together, and fighting a whole bunch of fires all at the same time.

We ended up having to work through the weekend. I only had to do some writing and get on a couple of calls; but a couple of my guys pulled doubles all weekend.

The good news is, we've been given the go ahead to do what we've been trying to get done for... oh, three years now... and push aside the politics and people who've been in the way. I actually get to save the company all that money I've been trying to save for so long.

Also, I know we've all been put in for exceptional service awards; which means a little extra bonus, and a few extra days off.

Still, it's a grind.

Prayers and Care to 3rd SF

Mel just got a status update from her cousin, a SFC with 3rd SF (2nd gen SF. His fathers a retired SgtMjr.), currently deployed to Kandahar province (or at least that's what he's cleared to say).

Seems he's doing alright. Missing home and missing comforts; but glad to be doing the job.

Our prayers go out to him, and his guys; and shortly our care package will as well.

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Notes From the Census Front Lines

I'm not re-upping for the next portion of the Census.

I've never worked for a government agency before, and never will again.

No, this isn't about ACORN, that was a load of bull anyway, they were only hired to go out in the community and encourage people to fill out and return their surveys. All enumerators were/are hired by the bureau directly.

This isn't about the incompetence of those before me that I've encountered either, though I've learned that quality control is NOT my calling in life.

This isn't about the backgrounds checks that were messed up that resulted in felons working for the bureau either (though that does explain why I had to re-do my fingerprint cards and clearance).

This isn't even about feeling like the Census is an unnecessary invasion of privacy, because I don't. I've wracked my brain trying to figure out how to run a representative republic without an accurate census (you can't) and how to conduct one without invading privacy and yet prevent fraud (it's not possible).

No. This isn't about my perception of these problems.

This is about how the average person perceives these problems.

If you ever want to know how little trust in and regard for the federal government the average person has, put on a government i.d. and knock on doors. Seriously.

In the past few weeks I've been sworn at, openly derided, and questioned within an inch of my life. I haven't been attacked, but one co-worker walked onto a property (fence-less, no warning signs) only to have a door opened and large dogs sent after him.

Seriously.

Now before you say, "but that's what you get for walking onto private property and knocking on the doors of private homes" we weren't. That wasn't the mission.

We were knocking on the doors of businesses, most of them open to the public.

Nursing homes. Hospitals. Hotels. Places of business. NOT private homes.

And we were already getting this treatment.

Whatever goodwill the average person had for the organization that actually performs a CONSTITUTIONALLY MANDATED FUNCTION is completely gone.

I wonder how the average person feels about OTHER functions of the government. I don't really want to find out, at least not while wearing a federal i.d.

This certainly isn't worth the pay, and I'm not doing it again.

I had a disturbing thought: If this sort of stuff forces me out, what kind of people stay, and how much worse do they end up making the problem?

I'll tell you what though. Those people who keep saying a revolution is on the horizon, that the American people are a breath away from long lengths of rope and tall oak trees?

I'm starting to believe them.

Mel

What's Been Going On

Those who’ve known me for a few years have probably noticed a change. I’m not acting like myself, and I’m even more scatterbrained and irritable than usual. Extreme mood changes are prevalent and I’m more contrary and combative. Also, I’m WAY behind on projects. There’s no excuse for not having the cookbook done, but there are reasons.

First off, the cookbook is behind in part because of a massive technological failure. The proofs, layouts, and software all resided on Chris's laptop. Chris's laptop's hard drive decided to fry.

Thank god we still have the pictures, and I'm a big fan of working out my recipes longhand.

The cookbook is also behind in part because mid-process (and a much more intensive process it turned out to be) the camel's back broke.

We're moving. We're not announcing where on this blog (many of you know already anyway) but we're leaving this goddamn hellhole.

Oh, we were planning on moving, in about 2 years. Then the bank merger happened and Chris started working 12 hour days so we decided we needed a bit more family recreation. Floating in the middle of a lake started sounding pretty damn good (what's that? my cell phone has bad reception here. sorry!) so we started looking into boats.

The weekend after we got Zoe we went looking at boats and eventually ended up at Lake Pleasant looking at sailboats. The kids and I started really getting into the whole idea at that point, and we spent some time crawling over a couple of MacGregor 26 sailboats.

In 110 degree weather.

Sometime around the finishing of the second gallon of water on the way home, Chris made an announcement. He was tired of living somewhere he couldn't leave the house 5 months out of the year, where he couldn't do what he wanted to do.

We were moving. ASAP. Actually, as soon as our lease ends on February 28th.

Only one problem. We're moving out of state. We can't found the company yet.

So no ISBN number for the cookbook.

The last reason for the cookbook being behind is extremely personal.

I'm emotionally ill.

The facade of having it together? Completely fake. Emotional stability? Hah.

Healthy behavioral patterns? Now you're just being funny.

I literally had a block in my head that said, "you can't do this. You're a failure, you'll always be a failure. What are you thinking? You can't do anything good. Everything you touch goes to shit."

HAD a block in my head.

I’m dealing with decades of emotional illness, persistently bad coping behaviors, aftereffects of abuse and neglect, and general insanity all at once.

Note I wrote “dealing”. Not hiding. Not pretending. Not suppressing. Not just trying to keep myself together. Dealing.

I blame Tahoe. I blame the lull in court action. I blame not spending every day worrying whether or not my children will have food or clothing, and I blame Chris for making that possible.

I also blame the bank merger, the stress of which drove Chris to consider getting a boat, then had us at Lake Pleasant in 110 degree weather looking at boats. This led Chris to declaring that goddamnit, we’re finally leaving this goddamn hell of a state. This led to me having a direction.

In short, I blame everything that has lifted my emotional and mental load to the point that I have the “luxury” of leaving survival mode.

I don’t think I’ve spent this much time outright bawling since my mother died. Memories are resurfacing; insights into just how badly I’ve bungled things and WHY are a daily occurrence.

Many of these memories are less than happy; when I told people that my first marriage was emotionally and mentally abusive I didn’t even realize how much I was UNDERSTATING the problem. Memories are reaching the surface that I’ve haven’t touched since I left; if I had, I doubt I would have had the presence of mind to fight for the kids. I’d be too busy off in a corner somewhere either bawling or completely detached from the world.

I’m also remembering how I got there in the first place, and how stupid I was to willingly walk into such a situation, and WHY. Understanding where exactly I messed up is ego-bruising, to say the least.

All of this however is a good thing. For example, I now understand why I think everything that goes wrong is my fault; one of the problems in my first marriage was my ex-husband's unwillingness to admit fault. Getting pregnant even though he knew I'd run out of birth control, refused to buy more, and refused to use a condom? So totally my fault. Taking the kids away from him? My fault, to the point that we're still in court to "punish" me.

That's just one example of the degradation and dehumanization shoved down my throat. My ex in-laws wanted to bring me "down to their level". Enough verbal abuse, emotional abuse, shoving into unwinnable situations, and isolation will result in complete dehumanization.

I think I got out just in time, and one of these days I'll write about how I came to the decision to leave, but now right now.

I’ve been trying to tackle one surfacing memory at a time and one breakdown at a time. Every day I feel a bit lighter, a bit more stable. A bit more human. It's been a helluva roller coaster, but I'm finally getting somewhere.

Thankfully my friends seem to understand, and since all but one came after my life started improving they’re a constantly reminder that things have changed permanently for me. The one exception I’ve known for 12 years and has been my best friend since we were 15 and she's been nothing but a help. Plus, when I think that maybe my memories are false, that maybe I'm exaggerating,she's been there to correct me (and very often tell me I'm not, it really was that bad).

Just KNOWING that all of this had a reason, that I'm not imaging what happened, that despite being surrounded by the insane I've got some kind of footing in reality HELPS. Helps so much. I'm starting to trust my thoughts, my conclusions, my judgments again. It's not that I was insane because everyone else was right, but that everyone around me was insane and wrong. This doesn't just apply to my ex in-laws, but to my family and the way I was raised as well. My parents made everything needlessly complicated, and formed a tiny little petri dish of a world that had NOTHING to do with the outside world.

Everything I ever learned means squat. Reality is so much better. Reality is what I knew all along, but nobody around me was willing to admit to.

Now that I don't think of myself as insane (or at fault for everything, or worthless), I see just how difficult I've made this whole process, and how soon I should be able to start shipping out. Cookbooks will be out before Black Friday, hopefully WAY before if I can continue to be this mentally stable.

As a bonus, for those of you who've seen the house, I've made tremendous progress is getting organized. I even found my Book of All Knowledge, the notebook my oldest recipes are written in, so THEY'RE getting added as well.

There is one last stress, however, and it has nothing to do with my mental and emotional state, but rather my father's.

Chris and I never wrote about the full circumstances of my mother’s death. It’s not that “death by infection and metastatic breast and ovarian cancer” isn’t correct; it is. The circumstances are just much more complicated than a simple diagnosis.

In reality, what happened to my mother was a mixture of her own procrastination and ignoring of problems, my father’s outright denial, the first hospital’s apathetic care, the second hospital’s apathetic care (minus one doctor), and the ambulance ride to the third hospital.

My mother was admitted to the hospital with fluid in her abdomen, and 6 weeks later she was dead. I've never quite gotten over the shock.

I watched her as the doctors did tests, waited forever to get results, declared breast cancer and performed a mastectomy. After months of not being able to keep food down (even in the hospital) she developed an infection, went into respiratory arrest, and died in the ICU. That's the short version.

NONE of this was unavoidable. My mother assumed the lump was a spider bite, even though it persisted for a year, and never got a mammogram.My mother spent months without an appetite and gaining weight without food intake. She hid her health problems from my father (and everyone else). Not until her distended stomach turned into a source of acute pain did she go into the hospital. Once at the hospital she refused to be "a bother" and attempted to make everyone ELSE'S lives as easy as possible.

Since my father believed her when she said it wasn't a big deal, my dad took her in, then retreated into his work. He wasn’t there to help her make decisions because he thought she was mentally competent.

She wasn't. She's been hiding her pain for months, if not years, as became obvious once we tried to untangle the business's finances afterwards.

I visited the hospital every day to see if she needed anything. She was almost always fine. I tried to talk to the doctors, but I could never seem to reach one of them. She always said they were waiting for tests anyway.

Until the day they scheduled her for a mastectomy, that is.

The day of I waited outside the surgical unit with my oldest brother. When the surgeon came out, he said it was worse than they'd feared. He estimated the cancer had been there for a decade.

All of a sudden my mother gave up the pretense.

My dad had no clue what to do, and leaned on my and my brother. Neither of us had authority to do anything. (As a sidenote, both of us now have power of attorneys for both our father and youngest brother, depending on who is more available in the situation).

My mother's recovery did not go well. She still couldn't eat.

The hospital tried to discharge her. She hadn't eaten for 4 weeks and they tried to discharge her.

My father and I fought the discharge won. The first time.

The second time he took her to another hospital.

Another apathetic hospital.

My mother lost the ability to speak. She started hallucinating. She still didn't eat.

One week later, we finally got a break. My mother's oncologist went on vacation and someone filled in for her.

This doctor took one look at my mother, one look at her chart, and transferred her to the best cancer unit in the state.

Thank God for University Medical Center.

Unfortunately, during the 2 hour ambulance drive she went into respiratory arrest. The paramedics managed to keep her alive (they didn't know she had a DNR) and she made it to the ICU.

I never had the opportunity to talk to my mother again.

4 days later my father and I made the decision to take her off life support. My father called my middle brother and told him to come down to see his mother; my brother said he'd be there in a week, they were driving and his wife wanted to visit friends on the way. My father called me, one step from falling to pieces.

Chris called my brother. All of a sudden my brother and his wife and kids were on a plane to Tucson.

2 days later while I was giving my father a break from her bedside, she passed on.

Afterwards I drove my dad to his guest room at a friend’s house. Picked up his things. Picked up my brother’s luggage to take to the house. BABYSAT MY NEPHEW BECAUSE MY SISTER-IN-LAW WAS TOO BUSY BAWLING OVER THE DEATH TO COMFORT HER HUSBAND OR TAKE CARE OF HER CHILDREN. Drove my father, kids, and nephew to my dad’s house. Called the pastor to make arrangements for my grandparents to be informed and for the memorial service to be held. Called all the other family members to inform them. Did the grocery shopping with 3 kids in tow so there would be food in the house. All in the day she died.

I made the cremation arrangements.

If it weren’t for Chris, I would have been a complete wreck. As it was, that month and a half almost killed me.

6 weeks of hell that could have been avoided. If my mother had been proactive in her health, if my father had taken control, if the first hospital had done more, if, if.

Chris “forced” me through the grief process, in that he prodded me until I dealt with and accepted my mother’s death. It was the kindest thing he could have done for me.

I’ve done my best not to dwell on it since, and to get on with my life. I could rail against the unfairness of the situation and seek out someone to blame. But I don’t.

That’s evidently my father’s job.

Since my mother’s death, my father hasn’t been quite all there. He spends quite a bit of time railing against the hospitals, blaming them for her death. When he’s not busy being enraged, he’s busy in self-pity mode.

In July (13 months after her death) my father went on an extended trip to his childhood home for a reunion. My aunt (his sister) and I hoped it would do him some good, and she did her best while he was there to help him through the process.

When he got back he seemed better, happier. I thought that maybe, just maybe, this scapegoat hunt he’d been on would be over.

A few days ago I called him, and he told me he was just about done with his project. He’d been going over everything that happened, and he was ready to take his notes and journals to the media and take on the evil hospital.

…….

I’m pretty convinced at this point that my father has lost it. My hope that he would ever come back to reality and be a father and grandfather? Well that’s pretty much crushed. I can accept that, I knew it was a possibility.

Then he told me he needed me to read everything to make sure it was all accurate.

Yes, my father wants me to re-read my personal hell from day one in order to pursue his own version of vengeance.

I can’t do that. My memories are horrifying enough without reliving everything, much less while I’m dealing with other resurfacing memories.

I don’t know how to tell him that I can’t do it, without doing what I really want to do, which is tell him to look in the mirror and he’d find one of the people responsible there. Then, if he looked on the shelf he’d find another responsible party in the urn.

I don’t know how to tell him just how much worse this is making things for me and the kids. That it’s not bad enough that at 28 I’m motherless, my kids no longer have a grandmother, my unborn children will never have a grandmother, that for all intents and purposes they don’t have a grandfather. No, that’s not enough, I also have my father attempting to destroy me (intentionally or not) by having me relive the worst couple of months of my life.

I am completely heartbroken.

So if I seem a little out of sorts, crazy, or otherwise not like myself, that’s why.

The good news is, despite all of this, life is getting much better.

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Crazy busy irritating work day

Which started at six am, and I was still getting emails at nine pm.

Long story short, somebody screwed up bad, didn't buy enough capacity to see us through the end of the year, which is killing some very important projects; but it's going to take 4-8 weeks to get that capacity online.

Meantime, we have to refactor EVERY DAMN PROJECT in the pipeline (about 90 for my group alone, several hundred including all the other teams).

Then once the capacity IS online, we need to swing back over to it.

Seamlessly and with zero risk.

Oh and did I mention one of our primary datacenters is completely out of power and cooling capacity, and that's going to effect several hundred more projects?

The next five months are going to suck so hard.

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

The Original "War on Terror"

The first recorded mention of the term "War on Terror" in the New York Times did not occur after 9/11 as many would assume... In fact it was in 1934, and wasn't even about the U.S.

You might be shocked as to exactly which nation it was about... or perhaps not...

War On Terror

(New York Times) December 4, 1934


Soviet Arrests 71 In War On ‘Terror’


Spurred by the assassination of Sergei M. Kiroff, the Soviet Government has struck its heaviest blow in years at those whom it regards as plotters of terroristic acts against Soviet officials.

With dramatic suddenness it was announced early this morning that seventy-one persons had been arrested and haled to trial before the military collegium of the Supreme Court of the USSR. Thirty-two of these were seized in the Moscow region and thirty-nene in the Leningrad region. They are stigmatized as “White Guards” and accused of plotting terroristic activities.

* * * * *

By the terms of a decree adopted by the central government immediately after the Kremlin received the news of M. Kiroff’s death, terrorists and plotters are to be tried swiftly and to be executed immediately without opportunity for appeal.

Now I'm not one of those pseudo-intellectual mental midgets who would compare the U.S. efforts directly to Stalins reign of terror (however they couched it as a "war on terror"); but one should at the least be able to recognize the historical irony.

It all comes down to parents...



HT: Hell in a Handbasket

Older than Dennis



Not 38, but indeed 40, and 40 shall be the number of the counting. Years that is, wink wink nudge nudge.

Yes, Monty Pythons Flying Circus hit it's 40th anniversary today.

...Yaknow, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords might result in a better system of government we have now. Perhaps we should have moistened bints pick our presidents... they couldn't do any worse.

Monday, October 05, 2009

Just met "Strong Arm Steady" at lunch

Which will mean absolutely nothing to most of my readers, but I happen to be a Talib Kweli fan, a Blackstar fan, a Dilated Peoples fan, a Jurassic 5 fan, and in general an underground fan; so I thought it was pretty cool.

Unfortunately, the underground thing has been basically dead since around 2003. Talib got dropped from distribution a few years ago, and the artists signed to his Blacksmith records label have been either locked out, or have had to get more commercial to get released.

Sadly, that commercialism includes "Strong Arm Steady"; the worst example of that being their former member Xzibit, who has gone so far as to star in several reality TV shows, and cheezy action movies (actually, he's not THAT bad of an actor. He's got decent personality and presence).

I'd put up an example of their work from youtube, but I'll be honest I can't find anything that I like. Most of their best stuff is freestyling, bootlegs, and underground sample mixes, or collaborations with other underground artists...

...Which kind of encapsulates the problems that underground has with commercial success in a nutshell...

Actually, there IS something put up, but it's not from SAS, it's a solo track from Mitchy called "Dr. Cube".



If you don't like underground, or just don't feel like watching the video, it's about how much of a bitch it is to try and be successful when you're an underground artist who wants to stay independent, and do the kind of work he wants to do, rather than squeeze themselves into the modern pop hip-hop machine and come out the other side looking like Young Jeezy or Lil Wayne

Anyway, the wife and I were eating lunch at the new chicken and waffle place about a half mile away (LoLo's. Decent fried chicken, but not very good waffles), and Krondon, Mitchy Slick, and Phil Da Agony walked in and sat down at the next table over from us.

Krondon is rather recognizable, being one of the very few albino rappers out there (and as far as I know the only black albino rapper. There are a couple of white and Asian albino rappers out there), and a couple of the restaurants staff knew who he was, but it was pretty low key.

Kron and Phil got on the phone with Talib while we were there (we couldn't help but overhear), and I started up a conversation with Mitchy about his watch (at first I thought it was a Lucien Piccard, but it turned out to be a custom Breitling Bentley GT. Beautiful watch).

Mitchy was jazzed about the new headphones he had just picked up (a pair of "beats by Dre"). I mentioned that I was a Sennheiser fan, and that I liked the flat response. He agreed that the beats were not good for mixing, but that for fun listening, the extra bass response was from the "beats" was nice.

I'll say this, from what I overheard, Krondon really knows how to take care of the business side of things; and they all seemed rather nice, for the few minutes that we were talking.

Yaknow, I'd been wondering that myself

Saturday, October 03, 2009

Gives me the giggles...

So, I had a fun thought, and posted it on Mad Mikes facebook wall:
"Is it too much to hope that we could convince Baen to have some kind of three way collaboration with you, Ringo, and Kratman?

I have no idea how it would be literarily (fun I'm guessing); I'd just want to be standing on the sidelines watching the heads of the far left explode at the stuff the three of you would write, and then say during promo events.

Y'all make Orson Scott Card look like Noam Chomsky; and look at all the head splodey that went on from his relatively mild public statements."
Remember who we're talking about here:

  • Ringo wrote the "Ghost" series which prominently features beer brewing, busty, BDSM loving, voluntary sex slaves

  • Kratman is one of the few authors out there who tell it like it is with regards to the muslim world (and he would know... he could be known more formally as Lt. Colonel Tom Kratman US Army retired) and wrote a series of books essentially about the necessity of exterminating all muslims

  • Mad Mike (Michael Z. Williamson, A.K.A. Crazy Einar) writes about radical libertarianismrevolting against the fascist empire of the U.N., and is the guy who almost singlehandedly popularized giving pink AR's to pre-teen girls.

  • All three are former active duty U.S. military (and Mad Mike is still in the reserves)
Let's just say that none of them are noted for their propensity to hold either mild opinions, or their tongues.

Seriously, I think it'd be a riot... possibly literally if they got in front of the right audience.

Thursday, October 01, 2009

He may be a dirty old man...

...And he's turned into a political hack in the last few years, for which I can fault him greatly. I once watched Letterman nightly, but that stopped more than ten years ago; and he has become unwatchable over the past few years.

...but Letterman handled that with what I thought was good grace, and as much class as could be attached to such a tawdry and frankly ridiculous situation.

He was honest, and forthright, didn't try to pretend it didn't happen; and I think that's really important. I think it counts for something with the American people, and it certainly counts for something with me.

On the air tonight, Letterman said that yes, he had sex with people who worked for him, and (not in so many words, but it was clear) that it's nobody elses business but his, his family, and the people he had those relationships with. That it's up to them if they want to go public, but he wasn't going to talk about it.

So long as his relationships were consensual, and not sexual harassment (though in any power relationship that can be a hard determination); I agree it's none of anyone's damn business, excepting his wife (who was his girlfriend at the time. They only married a few months ago, but they were together for 23 years before that, and they have a six year old son).

I think it's clear that the audience agreed, and I'm willing to bet that America agrees.

Mel and the Girls Vs. Mass Culture: Bridal Edition

As most of our readers know our friends JohnOC and Myrrh are getting married this coming April.

I've been asked to be the acting Matron of Honor (vs. the actual Matron of Honor) a job which entails keeping Myrrh from getting too anxious, helping with decisions, and constantly saying "just because you're not making this difficult doesn't mean you're doing something wrong."

The only way Myrrh could be farther from being a Bridezilla is if she decided to get married in a nightgown. Seriously.

So the vast majority of preparations are done, documented, and deposited. In fact, once we visit with the florist today only 3 decisions will be left: menu (catering is already arranged), favors, and flower girl dresses.

Dear sweet Lord, the flower girl dresses.

In fact, clothing as a whole has been a bit of a bumpy ride.

Oh, the guys are easy. All the men will be in kilts, either bought or rented. John already has his (bought during OUR wedding planning actually), Chris's will be ordered soon, and the other two will be rented.

The wedding dress is already hanging in a closet. Due to serendipitous circumstances, Myrrh came across exactly what she wanted (modest and pretty) in her size, with perfect fit, never touched or tried on, and way under her budget. Of course she bought it already.

In fact, the odds of finding a modest dress were so low that math itself argued against the odds.

This isn't some ridiculous definition of "modest" either. Modest in this case meant something she'd be comfortable wearing in a Catholic church for an afternoon wedding instead of the equivalent of a cocktail dress with a train. In other words, something with sleeves that kept the *ahem* girls where they were supposed to be.

Contemporary wedding dresses are evidently allergic to sleeves and any neckline that doesn't require a plunging backless strapless bra.

But I digress.

After the dress was bought we brought our attention to bridesmaid dresses. Once again the goal being to dress like we were attending a Catholic ceremony instead of a club.

Finding a bridesmaid dress that is suitable for a church should not be difficult. Yet it is. Between strapless, spaghetti strap, halters, and OMG plunging necklines we determined the entire purpose of a bridesmaid dress is to pick up a groomsman.

2 of the 3 groomsmen are married or engaged. 2 of the 3 bridesmaids are married, and the third is a lesbian. Picking up the groomsmen wasn't a consideration.

Fortunately between the LDS and Catholics there seems to be a thriving niche market for form-fitting, pretty, and church-acceptable bridesmaid dresses out there and by looking at retailers tapping that market we were able to find bridesmaid dresses that fit our needs. It was a tedious, frustrating process but we managed it.

That leaves us with flower girl dresses for my daughters, who at the time of the wedding will be 6 and 8.

You'd think this would be easy, right? WRONG.

Yesterday after attending the cake testing and ordering the cake, Myrrh and I decided to drop by David's Bridal to pick something up and look at flower girl dresses.

We left in absolute shock.

Evidently everything I've written about wedding dresses and bridesmaid dresses applies to flower girl dresses. Sleeveless, spaghetti straps, halter tops (wtf?) attempts at creating cleavage (!!!!!!!) and my personal favorite, mini-bride syndrome.

A few of the worst offenders:





The last one really gets me. Picking up groomsmen I somewhat get, but who is my 6-year-old going to pick up with this one? A Kindergartener?

Yeah, I know. That's what I get for looking at David's. But David's isn't the only offender. These dresses are all over the place, at every wedding site across the country. Why would so many designers make so many of them if people weren't buying them?!?!?!?

So I thought that like before, I'd take a different tack and maybe hunt down some confirmation or first holy communion dresses instead. They'd be white, pretty, and suitable for church, right?

Wrong.



WTF, over?

What are all these people smoking anyway? Why are they dressing little girls like women? What happened sleeves, high necklines, and foofy skirts? Why would I dress my little girls to show more skin and (attempts at) cleavage than the bride for godsake?

Who in their right mind dresses little girls up as pedo-bait, or anything other than little girls?

What the hell are we thinking as a culture anyway?

I for one refuse to have any part in this. If I have to search every inch of the internet, if I have to visit every shop in the Valley, if I have to buy the fabric and sew it myself my girls will attend the wedding looking like what they are: little girls. Not little brides. Not little women. Little girls.

Why the hell do I have to buck the trend just to be a responsible parent?

Mel

Oh Great, Another one... And Another One... And Another One...

Looks like along with Smith and Wesson adding a piston model to their three year old AR line, SIG is getting into the piston AR game.

From American Rifleman and The Firearms Blog:


...The Sig 516 is the new AR. Here's a picture for you, but don't tell anyone because it doesn't exist.

Since we're talking about a new gun, here's what you need to know:

1. It's piston operated and has an adjustable gas regulator similar to the Ruger 556.
2. It has an ambidextrous safety.
3. Comes with Yankee Hill folding rear and front sights.
4. It's an AR.
...
It had been previously announced (see the firearms blog post above) that they would be producing select fire versions, it wasn't clear that they'd be selling complete civilian legal rifles. Now the NRA is unofficially saying they've confirmed it, with a December order date.

Looks like they're following the SR-556 mold, in adding premium parts to commodity forgings etc... I see at the least flip down front and rear sights (looks like Sampson, or Yankee Hill. NRA says Yankee Hill, but I can't find confirmation) , a decent rail system, ambidextrous safety, an ergo-grip with plug, a Crane SOPMOD clone stock, and Magpul mags.

Given the relative market failure of their home designed piston 5.5.6 rifle entry (they've sold as many as they've put together, but compared to AR's...) I wonder if this is them throwing in the towel on the SG-556... Of course, they actually share many parts and pieces, so maybe they'll keep them both going.

Better pics here at the M4 forums: http://m4carbine.net/showthread.php?t=37970

In the promo poster on M4carbine you can see an ambi mag release as well, and looking closer, the sights may be from Troy, contrary to the NRA report. I think the rails are (or at least licensed), and they may have sourced or licensed both from the same. Of course they may not have, just to avoid being too close to the SR-556.

Oh and the firearms blog just today posted that Stag Arms is popping out a piston AR as well.

Not much detail yet, but it seems primarily notable in that the list price is $1185, only a few dollars more than their non piston models of equivalent configuration; and several hundred dollars below the list price of every other piston AR I know of.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

The Christian response, to Christian gun control advocates

Luke 22:36

"Then said he unto them, but now, he that hath a purse, let him take it, and likewise his scrip: and he that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one."

The Creepy-ass Obama Worship Breakdown

I was going to say something funny about Roman Polanski...

...But then I remembered that there is nothing funny about a 44 year old man drugging and anally raping a 13 year old girl; and I thought better of it.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

NCIS Los Angeles

So far. the pilot (which was shown last season) pretty good.

The first episode (from tonight), really, really, really bad...

Also VERY different from the pilot in general, and from NCIS; which is at least in part, why it's really, really, really bad.

Lesseee...

The characters in the pilot: Interesting, great potential.

The character in the first episode: Completely different, one dimensional, ridiculous, just very very bad.


The writing in the pilot: Intriguing, and challenging. Like NCIS, but with a twist.

The writing in the first episode: Ever see the Vin Diesel movie "A Man Apart"? Yeah, it was better than this. So was the '84-'85 season of Saturday Night Live.

At least they avoided the CSI:Miami style pseudo science glitz they were playing with in the pilot.

...Although, seriously, Linda hunt? I mean, I love the woman. She's a great actress, and always interesting to watch... but what the hell is she doing in a show about naval criminal investigations?

I'mna give it a couple more weeks, see if it gets any better. I'm not hopeful.

Sadly...

It seems that this isn't a political posture; they seem to actually believe it:



More fools they.

A Voice Made For Radio

You might have noted that some folks in the gun community, and more broadly in the community of people online (and in person for that matter) are quiet polarizing.

Apparently, I'm one of them, lord knows why.

Another is a man I consider my good friend, and who I have missed terribly these past two years since I saw him last, or the nearly a year since he last wrote on his own site.

I'm speaking of course of Kim Du Toit.

I won't rehash all that has gone before. Dramatic writing, and stupid drama are behind us.

Something about Kim that people who only know him by his writing: All of his friends have been saying for years, that he has the kind of voice, both literally and rhetorically, made for radio.

Well, it seems that he's finally decided we were right. Kim and his beloved wife Connie have decided to start an internet radio show.





The Kim and Connie Show
1910 People in a 2010 World

We chat about everyday life, especially politics and values. Our politics are strictly conservative, our social values very conservative, and our views on manners and morality carved-in-granite conservative.

We are staunch believers in the U.S. Constitution, as written with its original intent.

We are not: racists, homophobes, misogynists, religious intolerants, conspiracy theorists or any of that nonsense—although, in these oh-so politically-correct times, the Perpetually Sensitive may occasionally be mistaken for thinking so.

We welcome callers to the show, with this request: please be polite and rational.
Live Internet Talk-Radio Schedule

Broadcasting live every Every Saturday & Sunday beginning October 3, 2009:

* 7:00 pm to 8:00 pm (Eastern)
* 6:00 pm to 7:00 pm (Central)
* 5:00 pm to 6:00 pm (Mount.)
* 4:00 pm to 5:00 pm (Pacific)

Click to listen/talk on BlogTalkRadio.com or...

Not near a computer? Call in to listen or participate: 1 (347) 855-8684 (Toll charges may apply. Check with your local carrier for rates.)

Sample Show





Show Listings



By the by, even if you disagree with Kim and Connie politicially (and god knows we have as many points of disagreement as agreement) they are hilariously funny people, and great conversationalists. This should be very fun.

I wish them the best of luck in this, and I know I plan on listening.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Ok, now THAT is a cause I can get behind

I normally don't join those facebook or other online "causes", but for this one, I make an exception:

Why this man is a Democrat, I'll never understand



Better than Jib-Jab, seriously.

TOBY KEITH - American Ride

Winter gettin' colder, summer gettin' warmer.
Tidal wave comin' cross the Mexican border.
Why buy a gallon, when its cheaper by the barrel.
Just don't be busted singin' Christmas carols.

That's us, That's right
Gotta love this American ride.
Both ends of the ozone burnin'.
Funny how the world keeps turnin'.
Look ma, no hands.
I love this American ride.
Gotta love this American ride.

Momma gets her rocks off watchin' Desperate Housewives.
Daddy works his can off payin' for the good life.
Kids on the YouTube learnin' how to be cool.
Livin' in a cruel world, pays to be a mean girl.

That's us, That's right
Gotta love this American ride.
Both ends of the ozone burnin'.
Funny how the world keeps turnin'.
Look ma, no hands.
I love this American ride.
Gotta love this American ride.

Poor little infamous America's town.
She gained five pounds and lost her crown.
Quick fix plastic surgical antidote.
Got herself a record deal, can't even sing a note.

Plasma gettin bigger, Jesus gettin smaller.
Spill a cup of coffee, make a million dollars.
Customs caught a thug with an aerosol can.
If the shoe don't fit, the fits gonna hit the shan.

That's us, That's right
Gotta love this American ride.
Both ends of the ozone burnin'.
Funny how the world keeps turnin'.
Hot dog, Hot damn.
I love this American ride.
Gotta love this American ride.
Oh yeah,
na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na........... nanannaaa

Thursday, September 24, 2009

In a two day training session

Posting will obviously be light to non-existent.

At least it's an actual useful class; and hopefully the software we're being trained on will actually make out job easier and results better.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

20 Years... Damn...

And still... perhaps more than ever... relevant today.

Last night Living Colour were on Jimmy Kimmel live plaing a cut from their new album.

As a special bonus, they also plaid their biggest his, "Cult of Personality"; which came out 20 years ago this past April.



After 26 years of making great music (the band were founded in 1983 - well... minus a 5 year break from '95 to 2000) it amazes me that Corey Glover and Vernon Reid are not household names.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Anthropogenic Global Warming is a Politically Motivated Scam

Which engenders an evil delusion in many of its adherents.

The result of this is hysteria, anti-scientific dogma and rhetoric, and witch hunt like behavior as related in the closing paragraphs of this tremendous blog post laying out the rationalist objection to the AGW premise:

There is another very serious unintended consequence that I would like to raise here; one that concerns me very deeply.

When I listen to the public AGW debate I hear very high profile politicians and prominent public figures calling for people who openly disagree with AGW to be put on trial for treason. I hear many cases of people losing their jobs because of voicing sceptical opinions. I hear prominent global warming advocates refusing to enter into debates or trying to avoid debates by claiming the science is settled, and by claiming we do not have time, we have only weeks to act. I hear AGW advocates resorting to personal attacks against people who disagree rather than addressing the technical issues they raise.

I hear AGW proponents claiming to be the under funded underdogs, fighting to protect the planet against greedy capitalists, yet the reality is their funding is at least 1000 times greater than the sceptics funding. I see many reports of scientists refusing to release their workings, thus preventing review of their methodology, despite the fact that their work was funded by public money.

I see how the established media abandons balance in reporting by strongly favouring proponents of AGW, ignoring or denigrating sceptics and forcing most onto blog sites like this one. I hear some environmental groups and activists publicly claim that its OK and even necessary to exaggerate the threat so as to get the public to engage. I see the courts condoning acts of vandalism and even violence against essential public infrastructure. I see high profile public figures supporting such acts and claiming them to be reasonable and justified.

In short I see our society abandoning some of our most vital democratic freedoms over this hysteria: Free speech, impartial enforcement of the law, balance in reporting, freedom of information. These are freedoms our forebears gave their lives to bequeath to us, they are our most valuable inheritance and we seem to be throwing them away over an unproven hysterical hypothesis.

More recently I have read articles from England advocating individual ration cards for petrol, heating oil, gas, electricity. Is water and food next? War time austerity as an ongoing future way of life? A return to the agrarian poverty of the middle ages? I note the new film “Not evil just wrong” has had to be distributed via the internet rather than traditional media. One step from distribution through an underground network? Will that apply to all future sceptical writing? What about other writing contrary to the popular opinion of the day?

These are the issues that differentiate between a free democracy and a totalitarian regime and the further one goes down this path the harder it is to pull back. History has shown us that the disease is far easier to acquire than to get rid of.


To those of you who still cling to the AGW scam, look at the behaviors and attitudes it has engendered, and ask yourself: If this was for a cause you didn't like or support, wouldn't you be condemning this behavior and denouncing it at?

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Morons Make My Life More Difficult

Well, in general, they make everyones life more difficult, but I'm referring to something specific.

So, my ATV has had a fuel leak for a while; and I just managed to get the time today to get around to fixing it.

Or rather, them.

I got the tank off, filled it with water, and discovered five separate leaks.

Oh joy.

There was a leak at the petcock, and a leak under each mounting bracket; and I'm pretty sure I know why.

Whatever genius assembled this thing, used an impact wrench to do so. I know this, because it took an impact wrench to get the damn things off. Some of the threaded brass inserts were turning in their holes. One of them under each bracket, and the petcock also had cracks leading from them.

Remember, we're talking about steel bolts into rubber mounts, and brass inserts into plastic. you should NEVER use an impact wrench on these things... Or you get stripping and cracking.

Long term, it needs a new tank (about $80); but my friend Jim wants to go riding tomorrow, so I figured, might as well try and do a temp fix.

So what I did was I took a ballcutter on the dremel and I routed out all the cracks, and all around the brass thread inserts. Then I used plastic welding epoxy to fill in the troughs I made.

I waited till the epoxy cured, then I spread a flexible fuelproof sealer around the bosses and cracks, and used gorilla tape to make a soft adhesive gasket (with more sealer against the metal) under each of the brackets and the petcock.

I filled the nut bosses with the sealer, tightened them down, and then bedded the brackets in more sealer.

Theoretically, this stuff should be soft, goopy, and flexible enough, that the little hairline cracks (which are hopefully repaired with the epoxy anyway) wont leak even if they open up again.

Not so sure about that, but we'll see.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Into the Wild Blue Yonder


On this day, in 1947, the United States Air force was chartered under the national security act:
  • to preserve the peace and security, and provide for the defense, of the United States, the Territories, Commonwealths, and possessions, and any areas occupied by the United States;

  • to support national policy;

  • to implement national objectives;

  • to overcome any nations responsible for aggressive acts that imperil the peace and security of the United States.

In general the United States Air Force shall include aviation forces both combat and service not otherwise assigned. It shall be organized, trained, and equipped primarily for prompt and sustained offensive and defensive air operations. The Air Force shall be responsible for the preparation of the air forces necessary for the effective prosecution of war except as otherwise assigned and, in accordance with integrated joint mobilization plans, for the expansion of the peacetime components of the Air Force to meet the needs of war.

In the air, on the ground, and in space

NOTHING CAN STOP THE US AIR FORCE


Off we go into the wild blue yonder,
Climbing high into the sun;
Here they come zooming to meet our thunder,
At 'em boys, Give 'er the gun!
Down we dive, spouting our flame from under,
Off with one hell of a roar!
We live in fame or go down in flame. Hey!
Nothing can stop the U.S. Air Force!

Minds of men fashioned a crate of thunder,
Sent it high into the blue;
Hands of men blasted the world asunder;
How they lived God only knew!
Souls of men dreaming of skies to conquer
Gave us wings, ever to soar!
With scouts before And bombers galore. Hey!
Nothing can stop the U.S. Air Force!

Here's a toast to the host
Of those who love the vastness of the sky,
To a friend we send a message of his brother men who fly.
We drink to those who gave their all of old,
Then down we roar to score the rainbow's pot of gold.
A toast to the host of men we boast, the U.S. Air Force!

Off we go into the wild sky yonder,
Keep the wings level and true;
If you'd live to be a grey-haired wonder
Keep the nose out of the blue!
Flying men, guarding the nation's border,
We'll be there, followed by more!
In echelon we carry on. Hey!
Nothing can stop the U.S. Air Force!




* I HATE the AIDS ribbon logo. What was wrong with the great seal logo above? Nothing. Another Merrill McPrick POS.

Yes I know, it didn't debut until 2000, but it was McPrick who started the whole modernization kick, and decided we needed a new one. It just took them 8 years to decide to replace the hap wings and the great seal. Idiots.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

We Report, You Decide

Albino Gorilla...


Or Brian Dennehey after a bad night...

Hmmm... Interesting...

I wonder if this design will scale up well....



As it is, it's a bit small; though it seems a much better solution for a small multi-turbine array than most other small systems. Certainly much more efficient.

The list price for the "system" is $6k, but that includes interconnect, panel, inverter, wiring etc... which I wouldn't be using in my installation. All that would be handled at the central powerhouse, to match the solar, and backup generators into the battery bank, and grid tie.

According to Popular Mechanics, the turbine and mounting hardware only price, is $4500. That's something less than half what I was looking at for considerably larger conventional turbines of a similar capacity; and I'm guessing from the construction that they'll handle overspeed wind a lot better (no gear train to damage). Also, most conventional turbines have a startup speed of 6-9mph, and a cut off around 20-25mph of wind, this one has a 2mph startup, and cuts off at 42mph.

That's a hell of a lot more useful capacity on the average day. I just wish it was a bit higher capacity overall. In a class four wind region, more than 60% of the average day is spent at between 6 and 14mph windspeed; at which these turbines generate between 40 and 250 watts.

Even at 250 watts, that's only about 5% of our peak hour load (and a lot less than peak instantaneous, which may reach as high as 14kw when multiple AC units and refrigerators are kicking on). Of course we DO live in Arizona, in a poorly insulated house.

Long term, we're looking at living in a class 4 wind region (possibly a class 5 depending on the exact home site), and building towers above the treeline. Under those conditions, a turbine like that one would only realistically generate something like 2000-3000kwh per year; or an average of 160-240kwh per month (Honeywell says that in a class 3 zone it can do 2000kwh per year mounted on a house roof - about 75% less output than a class 4 above the treeline installation - so I figure my estimate is pretty realistic).

Although, we are looking at living in a net metering sellback region with a 100% tax credit after the federal 30% credit (capped at $20,000 total after federal). With that incentive program we could buy seven of them and the things could pay for themselves immediately; but it really would take something like seven of them, or more, to meet our power needs.

The average household in the U.S. currently consumes something like 12,000kwh per year; but about half that is the utilization of air conditioning in the sun belt states, or electric heat in the cold states. Outside the hot zone, and for households with gas or oil heat, the national average is more like 6000kwh.

Right now, living in Arizona, we use about three times the national average (or about six times the average someone in say, New Hampshire would use). We run from around 1500kwh in January to 5500kwh in August; and total around 35,000kwh per year, for which we pay almost $4000.

We once used 6500kwh in a single month (for which we were charged over $800), but that was with our pre-replacement 30 year old primary AC unit, plus a messed up air handler and heat exchanger, and running two large supplemental AC units 24x7 that entire month (not coincidentally, the month before the old unit died horribly).

We have what they call a "smart meter", which lets us see our spot utilization day by day, and hour by hour. Just for fun, we looked up how much power the house was using when we weren't even in it, for our vacation this past few weeks.

With us out of the house, the AC and all the lights and computers off, we used about 30kwh per day, just keeping the fridges and freezers cold etc...

Uhhh... that's almost the national average for people who are actually, you know, using their houses and AC and heat and computers and TVs etc... WTF?

For a little more masochistic fun with the smart meter, we averaged 50kwh per day in January, one of only two months this year when we didn't run the AC at all.

So... even on our best day, we're using about 1.5 times the national average juice, and about 3 times the average for a cold state; however, we are only using 20kwh more per day to run all our stuff than the house is using all by itself...

Ok that's screwed up right there.

Anyway, back to the cool stuff.

When we move, since we're planning on moving to a colder state, and not using electric heat; we expect to cut that excessive "3 times average" utilization down a lot, because of the dramatically reduced AC requirement. That still gives us a baseline of something like 12,000kwh per year however.

Any savings we make using hyperinsulation, and efficient lighting and appliances, we expect to more than offset with greater use of tools and power equipment (welders alone... oy).

Ideally, I'd like something that could generate more like 3 times that 2000-3000kwh per year, per turbine; and build an array of say, four of them, for total spot capacity, and for redundancy.

...But even as it is, with seven of them paid for entirely by tax credits (not including installation, and the towers of course) we could likely generate 14,000-21,000kwh per year...

That's pretty decent. Even when you account for losses in the storage battery system and inverters, that's probably most of the household power requirements at any given time (not include surge power when the welders are running, or the AC and fridges start up at the same time of course).

That would of course be in addition to solar, and micro-hydro if the property is capable of it; and back up diesel or propane generation for full capacity. Then of course there's all the storage batteries.... ooooh boy those are gonna cost.

Anyway, at that cost per turbine, if you've got enough land to set up six or seven of them (and we will) it's viable. Importantly, it's a LOT cheaper than an equivalent solar setup.

A solar system in the same region, with the same capacity, would cost about $120k. Of course you'd still get the 30% federal credit plus $20k from the state, for a $64k total cost to us, vs. a near zero cost to us (again, not including installation costs, just to keep it apples to apples).

Of course, as I said, we plan on having wind, solar, and generators (and would really love a property with micro-hydro capability) anyway. Ideally, we want to have a diversity of power sources, AND enough power even on cloudy days, or wind free days, to run whatever we need (again, short of the welders at full duty cycle etc...).

The great thing about combining wind and solar, is that when solar tends to be performing poorly, wind tends to be performing well; and vice verse.

Now if they would just get those cheap, relatively efficient, printable solar panels to market, we could do BOTH relatively cheaply.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Politicians, judges, and the rest of us caught in the middle

This past holiday weekend, one of my cousins was pulled over in a drunk driving checkpoint in Florida. Not being an idiot, he was of course sober; and there was no probable cause for pulling him over, questioning him, or performing a field sobriety test.

The courts, in their infinite wisdom, have decided that this is not a violation of ones fundamental rights.

They are wrong; but they have been so wrong, so often, that this is frankly unremarkable.

A discussion about his being stopped started on his wifes facebook page, as she vented her frustration at the unjust stupidity that is represented by checkpoints.

A friend of theirs who is a cop chimed in, and the discussion got interesting (the names have been modified to protect the guilty, spelling and netspeek have been corrected, and irrelevant comments to the core conversation have been snipped):

Cousins Wife: my poor baby got stuck in a dui check point on the way home from a long day at work! =( stupid cops!

Officer Tom: I hate those pigs...always ruining everyone's fun...

Cousins Wife: Well of course not you Officer Tom

Officer Tom: The cops don't set up roadblocks unless politicians tell them to by the way. Its all good, our roadblock didn't go through.

Minarchist Chris: Yep, it's more like "stupid, constitution abusing, nonrights respecting public servants with delusions of being public masters", not "stupid cops".

Officer Tom: You've had a bad experience with a cop or two so all of them must be assholes...brilliant!

Minarchist Chris: Actually no, I generally love cops. I'm Boston Irish, and I've got literally dozens of cops in my family. I'm also a former law enforcement trainer.

I wasn't talking about cops. better than 90% of all cops are genuinely driven by their desire to serve the public, or at worst are just doing their jobs.

I was speaking of the politicians, in uniform and out, who believe that they are a separate, privileged class, and that peoples rights don't count when it comes to their desires, their need for control, or their convenience.

Those, and the small percentage of cops who have a militant "the public is the enemy" mindset (unfortunately, in my experience that mindset is growing, and current training regimes and institutional culture are reinforcing it) who enable them to become oppressive so easily.

Officer Tom: My bad... I meant "right on!

(my aside: Cops are so unused to having non-cops on their side in this sort of argument that they often get reflexively defensive)

Minarchist Chris: It doesn't matter why you become a cop. If two years on nights (or a month of court duty) doesn't cure you of whatever idealism you had, there's something wrong with you.

What matters, is why you stay a cop...

There are three reasons to stay a cop; one good, one bad, and one indifferent:
  1. The pay and benefits don't suck if you know how to work the system, and your department is good about overtime.

    That's the indifferent. Some days it's all that puts feet on the street though, and that's important.

  2. You get great satisfaction in helping people who need help, and in doing bad things to bad guys.

    That's the good. The one that keeps you REALLY showing up, not just retiring in place.

  3. You get off on exercising power over others, and the "perks" of the blue wall.

    That's the bad. That's how cops become criminals.
Every cop who stays a cop, has some measure of all three motivations in them. You need it to keep going, doing that hard a job, taking those risks. Otherwise, like I said, you quit, burn out, or you just retire in place and serve out your time until you get your pensions.

The problem is when they get out of balance, and when politicians take advantage of that imbalance to further pit the police and the non-sworn public against each other for their own benefit.

Meanwhile the judges stand by, effectively making and changing law as they see fit... how are cops, or everyone else for that matter supposed to keep up?

The answer of course is, they're not. That's the way "the system" works, or rather doesn't work. That way everyone is guilty, and everyone can be controlled (Ayn Rand had a point there).

The more cops are isolated, separated, and alienated from the non-sworn public; the easier it is for politicians to get them to enforce bad laws, which give the politicians (again, in uniform and out) greater power and control over EVERYONE.

Officer Tom: Damn... I hate cops too, I swear.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

An Abomination Before God and Man...


... It's a frikken MetroSexual CANTEEN!

It's even got a frikken purse.

And it's $60, for JUST THE DAMN CANTEEN, never mind the $100 purse.

Yaknow how much a U.S. canteen costs? About $2 surplus at retail.

If you can stomach it, look at the user pictures. Ferchrissakes.