Sunday, October 09, 2005

My god, they made a sequel?

I was scanning for something to watch at 1:33 am (I've got the flu and feel like shit, but can't sleep), and I saw one of the most frightning things I've ever seen...

Dungeons & Dragons
: Wrath of the Dragon god

My god, what were they thinking. Was the first not enough evil? I find myself wondering why the massive suckage of that film did not create a singularity destroying the earth and erasing all memory of it from existence... but I digress.

Amazingly enough, Bruce Payne (who is actually a decent actor) came back from the first movie, reprising his role as Damodar (the evil blue guy).

From the IMDB text:
"Based on the phenomenally successful role-playing game, Dungeons & Dragons 2 takes you deeper into the dark and fantastical world of this fantasy epic. When the evil sorcerer Damodar braves a perilous whirlwind vortex to steal the elemental black orb he declares a sinister plan of vengeance against the kingdom of Ismir. Berek, a decorated warrior, and Melora, an amateur sorceress join four heroes representing Intelligence, Wisdom, Honor and Strength to battle against Damodar's growing army of gruesome creatures, flying harpies and an ice dragon to reach a vault room holding the orb. Together, they build their own army to retrieve the orb using elemental forces to defeat Damodar before he summons the sleeping black dragon whose omnipotent evil powers could lay waste to the entire kingdom."
Ok so I just HAVE to watch this. The cheez compels me...

"Well it's always been my great ambition to sully the virtue of a well bred mage".

So I'm reading the reviews on IMDB and apparently the D&D fanboys like this one...

I'm goin in, wish me luck...

UPDATE: My god, it is entirely a D&D campaign made into a movie. There is certainly a TON of cheez, but the fanboy gamer in me keeps seeing things that are directly D&d accurate/appropriate, and thus my disgust is being overcome by my fanboyness.

As punishment I will have to Storytell a game of:

As a metageek torture, I will play a 5th gen game master, running a white wolf Vampire/Werewolf crossover campaign only for freshman girls and members of the art club and poetry magazine staff; then have it planeshift into ravenloft.