Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Quotes from "Greatest things about being fat"

"The greatest tastes in the world are Cookies, Bacon, and Cheese" -- Yeah I have to agree with that, especially cookie dough, and milk chocolate macadamia nut.

"Do you have any idea how many skinny bitches cry themselves to sleep just wishing to eat a piece of their wedding cake"

"Fat women have great yummies"

"When Lindsey Lohan lost her baby fat, she also lost her babies, and nobody likes that"

"There aint nothin sexy about backribs"

#14 great thing about being fat is: You are less likely to be kidnapped; "Because they are just easier to carry"... "Skinny hot and blonde are kind of like the holy trinity of abduction".

"Fat people and baseball go together like Mike Piazza and not bein gay"

"If you can't throw, you can just stand there and not let people move you" -- The linemans creedo (actually as a former semi-pro lineman myself that's not true. If you're any good, you move very fast, for 15 feet).

"Grover Clevelands muppetlike name was counterbalanced by his gigantic 300 pound ass"

...Speaking of Lara Flynn Boyle "Jeeze, lay off the twinkies Boyle".

"Learn the value of being grossly disproportioned"

"The #8 great thing about being fat is:You're historically hot"

"Those women could eat five Kate Mosses, and still have time for three hours of sex"

"Dolly parton could feed all of pigeon forge with those milk bags"

"Jay leno parlayed his morbidly obese chin into hosting the tonight show"

"Matthew Perry, who'll be there for him? Looks like cookies"

"I could ride Santa like a pony"

"The #2 great thing about being fat is: Oprah"... "You want to sit down and dip something in some gravy with her" ... "Even when she's skinny, America can rest easy in knowing she won't be skinny for long"

"The moon controls the tides, Jews control hollywood, and YOU control when things end"