Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Hallelujah, he's finally gone!

Today is a great day my friend. Today is the day that BMW begins its return to grace and greatness; because today is the day that CHRIS BANGLE RESIGNS.

Thank you god.

For those of you who don't understand why I am thankful for this blessed event, let me give you some examples, of both pre and post Bangle BMWs.


Those are examples of the E34 M5 (1989-1995) and E39 M5 (1996-2004); what I believe to be the two best examples of the classic BMW sports sedan.

Admittedly I'm biased, in that I've owned two E34 5 series; and would still love an E39 540is or M5 (the E34s are still great; but they are getting a bit long in the tooth. Plus the E39 has almost twice the horsepower, more room, and better handling).

Some might call the styling boring, but I disagree. They are smooth, but hard edged. Muscular, but not overblown. Classic, clean, simple, and balanced.

Simply, they are a pure expression of form and function in harmony. Antoine de Saint-Exupery famously said "Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.". With these cars, there is nothing left to take away.

Unfortunately, Chris Bangle decided that meant it was a perfect time to start adding stuff:

That, is called a "Bangle Butt"; because Chris Bangle insisted on adding it to all of his designs.

Who on earth could find that attractive?

Actually, just a more basic question, why on earth did BMW make this man head of design, when he admitted he didn't like how BMWs looked. He thinks the hoffmeister kink should be eliminated, and that the double kidney grill is old fashioned.

Bangle said repeatedly in interviews that he thought BMWs looked boring; and that he kinda liked ugly cars because they were interesting.

I guess these are VERY interesting then:

In case you were confused, no, those aren't Pontiacs; they are $40,000 to $90,000 BMWs... though you can certainly be forgive for the comparison. I for one think the recent 5 series looks an awful lot like a Pontiac Bonneville:

Here's a more explicit look at the similarities:

That would be a recent 3 series compared to a Pontiac G8 (what used to be the Grand Prix) of the same year. Striking resemblance wot?

Pontiac is of course famous for the "Excitement" look; achieved by taking standard GM three box products, and adding ridiculous plastic body cladding and pointless frippery.

Here's his latest, and "greatest" effort, the X6:

Which if you ask me, looks a lot like a slightly smoothed out Pontiac Aztek:

But maybe that's just me. I actually like good looking cars... I guess I'm not interesting.