The test results came in Friday. Evidently my TSH levels are high (5.83) and my T4 level is in the low normal range (0.9) signaling an imbalance and an under-active thyroid.
As the nurse was rattling off the symptoms, I couldn't help but notice that yes, I had the symptoms but attributed them to other conditions.
- Depression = life circumstances, unavoidable
- Fatigue = from the depression
- Increased hair loss = seasonal change, it is my first winter here after all
- Inability to lose weight = also from the depression
- Mood swings = from the already well known hormonal imbalance and PMDD
The first couple of days I felt like a mix between a zombie and a robot. Took me a while to realize why.
My emotions have normalized. I no longer have huge mood swings, really high highs or really low lows. I feel... normal. Without the huge variations in mood I feel almost as if I have no emotion whatsoever. It will take me a while to get used to being so stable, and so in control of what I feel.
How odd it is that the most psychoactive drug I've ever taken besides opiates for pain is a little tiny thyroid pill. How odd it is that every other anti-depressant failed, but a thyroid medication has started working within 3 days.
Maybe I should have looked into this sooner.