Friday, August 15, 2008

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways...

Or in this case, the number of minutes spent in line.

A little backstory first...

All of the Dunkin Donuts franchises in the Metro Phoenix area closed some months ago. This upset Chris somewhat, as he is from Boston and practically grew up on chocolate glazed donuts from DD. This also upset me, as I lost one of my favorite ways of a.) getting him an inexpensive "I was thinking of you" treat and b.) getting him the occasional hot breakfast.

About a month back, billboards and signs started popping up. "Grand Opening on August 15th". DD renovated 7 stores in the area and planned all the openings for the same day.

I let all of this slip from my mind though, at least until this morning.

After I dropped the kids off at school I headed to the grocery store for a few perishable odds and ends. I remembered the reopening of the local DD and decided I'd treat Chris and give him chocolate glazed donut and hazelnut coffee fix.

On the way to the grocery store I passed by the DD in question. The parking lot was full. The parking lots of the other stores in the plaza were full, and I was pretty sure the cars weren't there for the gym.

Then I turn the corner, and I see the line...

Last time I saw a line that long I was standing in it, waiting for the iPhones. Except this line was longer.

As it was 8:10 at this point, I was hoping, hoping that most of these people needed to get to work, and that by the time I'd be done with the grocery store the line would be shorter.

At 8:38, having finished my grocery run, I returned to the DD at Thomas and Hayden. This is what I saw:

The line had not gotten shorter, just longer. But I was on a mission, and so I joined my fellow DD addicts. In front of me were a City of Scottsdale police officer, a Scottsdale firefighter, and a bureaucrat from the city. No, the line could not have been more stereotypical.

Immediately in front of me though, was a man from North Scottsdale. A while later his wife came to the line, holding a purebred flea attracter (i.e. lapdog) and asking the nice lady handing out samples if there was a vegetarian option on the menu. I wanted to scream at her to get the hell out of my donut shop.

But I didn't. Despite the fact that I was standing in a long, barely moving line in 84 degrees and 48% humidity (hello sauna) I kept my mouth shut.

20 minutes after joining the line, I finally made it to the front doors:

I have never seen so many boxes of donuts in my life. Almost everyone one in line bought a dozen more, and once I saw someone grab 5. Not just donuts were being sold though; every kind of coffee, sandwich, cookie, and munchkin made its way out the doors while I was waiting in line. 3 members of the staff worked non-stop replenishing the donut supply while 2 worked filling donut orders, 3 filled coffee and sandwich orders, and 2 ran the registers. They somehow managed to serve 200 customers in an hour and a half, most with large orders.

The chocolate glazed donuts never stayed in stock, and I never saw a single batch of them come out while I was waiting inside.

So I did the next best thing. I spotted chocolate glazed munchkins still in stock, and kept my mouth shut hoping no one else would notice.

The cop noticed. By the time I placed my order only 6 remained, and they became mine.

At 9:19 I finally managed to pay, and got my hands on the holy grail of DD, the mighty chocolate glazed donut (in hole form unfortunately) and an XL hazelnut coffee, light & sweet.

All to spoil the hell out of my hubby.

Now that's love.