Monday, November 27, 2017

Now we get CPS

Let's get right to the point here: the NH version of CPS is currently screwing us over between a meddling teacher and an overzealous agent.

Yeah, just when you thought things couldn't get *worse*.

What happened is: Christopher smelled. In part because sometimes he still wets the bed. In part because he doesn't watch where he's running at full tilt. Anyway, he ended up at school with dog poop on his pant leg.

Pants I'd literally just taken the tags off of by the way.

So the school counselor called DCYF (the NH CPS) and we got a home visit.

I wouldn't allow them in the home. From this they assumed I had something to hide. I did. It's not like I was exactly caught up. Plus I suffer from the hoarding variant of OCD (yes, that's what hoarding is, it's a compulsive disorder).

Well, I was given the option of them getting an emergency court order or sending Christopher to stay with his great-aunt while we cleaned up.

I lost count of how many times I felt like diving into the lake on the way home, and not coming back out. But that wouldn't have fixed things.

Fortunately helped had already been bought plane tickets before the meddling counselor had even placed a call.

So stuff was removed. Stuff was cleaned. Floors were cleared. Help was/is extremely helpful.

CPS agent came back for home inspection. And... she couldn't stand to be in some of the rooms.

Y'all remember the great sprinkler failure and flood? Some stuff still smells like mold.

So Christopher couldn't come home.

I once again had to actively stop myself from biting a bullet. I'm under an extreme amount of stress and... just... even I have a breaking point.

But I didn't do it.

It was recommended that we might remove the affected carpets. Tried to clean them several ways first. Then rip, rip, rip. Out go the carpets.

CPS agent came back Tuesday. Things were better, she said. Much progress! But Christopher is special needs and no way you can finish with him home, he requires too much supervision. And you've just thrown out half your house, so I worry that there won't be anything to come home to.


And Christopher still can't come home.

It's been 3 1/2 weeks.

I've been in hell.

Our account is $1700 overdrawn because I bought carpet treatment stuff, carpet removal stuff, dehumidifiers, filtration masks, oh and food.

PayPal is $115 overdrawn.

I'm exhausted, I'm worn down to a nub, I honestly don't know how I manage to function at all.

Oh, and this entire month Chris has been either close to hospitalization or close to death. Sometimes it was an hourly thing.

We didn't mention it because sometimes we need to maintain a front for our own sanity. It's just... everything is falling apart.

And now I need to finish the cleaning and restock the house so Christopher can come home.

Oh, have I mentioned I've been doing an OTC regimen trial for my OCD? On top of all of this? Yaknow, on top of cancer, CPS, exhaustion, and lack of funds? Yeah...

Oh and we still need to fix Big Green, and get the Avalanche back to her owner, and there's this tiny thing called winter, and medical bills, and keeping on top of insurance, and the insanely expensive low carb diet Chris needs to be on, and appointments in Boston coming up with the oncologist, and and and...

I honestly don't know how I even frickin got out of bed this morning, between worrying about Chris and Christopher being gone and my own exhaustion and the fact that I frequently forget to eat. And that yesterday I went to 4 hardware stores with the change at the bottom of my purse to get a replacement o-ring for the water heater circulator so I could have my first hot shower in weeks.

Just so... done. And January is coming up. And insurance resets in January.

Oh and I have court on Thursday for driving on a license I didn't know was suspended because I paid the ticket in question. But still, I have court.

I... just... can't.

We need furniture. We need food. I need to pay whatever fine the court is going to levy. We need to pay bills. We need to keep Chris alive. We need to get Christopher back.

Anything would help.

I've still got a GoFundMe going BUT it takes days to clear so if it is at all possible to use PayPal (chris@chrisbyrne,com) or Messenger Payments that is much faster, which would be good because I need to buy food. And gas. And heating oil. And get our son back.

Thanks all,