| You Are Guinness |
 You know beer well, and you'll only drink the best beers in the world. Watered down beers disgust you, as do the people who drink them. When you drink, you tend to become a bit of a know it all - especially about subjects you don't know well. But your friends tolerate your drunken ways, because you introduce them to the best beers around. |
I don't drink Guiness outside fo Ireland, exept in two places I know in NYC, and two I know in Boston, because they pour a pint that isnt nasty (they import directly rahter than going through local distribution; and they teach their people how to pull a proper pint).
Outside of Irleand, Guiness is nasty shite, because it’s pasteurized and has perservatives added. In fact, the further you go from Dublin, the worse Guiness gets. Even different pubs in the same area have a different quality of Guniess, because it’s sensitive to handling. Hell the only reason Beamish is still around is because GUiness in Cork is piss poor compared to Guiness in Dublin.
Good guiness has molasses, coffee, and chocolate flavors, with a very light bittering, and a creamy mouth feel; almost literally like drinking cold coffee with whipped cream.
Bad guiness tastes sourish, and bitterish, with a burned peaty flavor. Unforutnatley that's what most people in America are drinking most of the time they order a Guiness; the real problem is you can never tell what you're going to get before hand; and lifes to short to dirnk bad beer.
There are three genuine Irish barmaids (as in they are from Ireland, and work in Irish bars) who live across the way from me, and we've talked about this; thery're as convinced as I am that all Guiness in this country is shite, except a few folks who import it unpasteurized and extra cold on the sly; and even then most barmen here don't know how to pull a pint so they ruin it.
Beamish is at least consistent (in fact for years their marketing against Guiness has been based on it, because when you order a Beamish you KNOW you're getting the same quality of pint every time unlike guiness); but I don't much care for it, so I don't drink Irish stout outside of Ireland. In fact, Irish STYLE stouts are ruined by pasteurizing so I generally wont drink one outside of Ireland unless it's a homebrew.
I will however drink other stouts and porters if I'm in the mood. English porters are more heavily bittered, as are russian imperial, so you still get a good drinking experience; assuming you don't mind the bittering (I don't).
No, if I feel like something sweet, smooth, and heavy in the beer line, in most bars I'm out of luck. I won't drink a porter or stout I don't know in a bar unless it's brewed onsite, because why pay $4 for something that will probably suck. I usually end up going for a Newcastle if they have them (a nut brown ale, slightly sweet, and lightly bittered). I've also got a few cases in the back room.
Oh and lately I've found my drinking has been going the hard cider rout, but the bulmers/magners/archers/whatever name they are using to sell irish and UK cider over here has off flavers, so I mostly stick to domestic micro brew ciders, except fot the Woodchuck crisp apple, which is quite light and tasty.
HT: Warbs
