Thursday, March 30, 2006

Recipes for REAL Women - Volume 13, Mel's 10,000 Calorie Butter Cookies

I adapted this from another, far inferior recipe upon Chris's request for butter cookies. So here goes...

Chris here... I didn't exactly request butter cookies, what I said was I don't like sugar cookies very much, but Mel loves decoratable cookies, an she said "Well what do you like then". I said, "Well I like butter cookies". Thus began Mels quest for a butter cookie recipe that would satisfy a REAL man, and a REAL Woman for that matter... a recipe in line with our Recipe Philosophy, why add a little butter when you can add a LOT of butter. And sugar. And Vanilla.


2 1/2 cups unsalted butter (5 sticks or 1 1/4 lbs), Irish butter preferred
1 1/2 cups brown sugar, lightly packed
1/4 cup milk
3 egg yolks
1 tbsp vanilla extract (or more to taste)
5 cups flour, sifted (or not)


Cut the butter into small pieces and cream together with brown sugar until it is well combined. Add in the vanilla and eggs. Note, other flavorings could be used, try butterscotch for example; but vanilla is traditional for a basic cookie.

Add in the flour one cup at a time, sifted over the batter (sifting helps it combine more easily, but is not necessary).

Note from Chris: this is a VERY thick cookie dough, and it's real work to cream that much cold butter and sugar together. It might be too much for your hand mixer, so a stand mixer is recommended. You can also use a potato masher and pastry mixer by hand, but you'd need forearms like popeye (ever see Julia Childs arms? The woman had muscles like a gorilla).

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Line your cookie sheet with parchment paper or leave ungreased. Roll cookie dough into 1/2" balls and flatten onto cookie sheet. Sprinkle a tiny bit of flaked kosher salt on the tops and a bit of colored granulated sugar, or brown sugar and cinnamon (yes, salt. It sharpens the taste buds).

Bake for about 10 minutes on the second-highest rack of the over. Check the bottoms of cookies after maybe 8 or 9 minutes; if they are starting to carmelize remove from the oven IMMEDIATELY. If the tops of cookies brown they are overdone.

Let them cool completely before serving; residual heat cooks the middle to perfection; and uncooled cookies will crumble rather badly.

The only change Chris would make (and on an occasional basis) is the addition of pecan and praline pieces for homemade pecan sandies. I like them the way they are, and they are very little work for much reward. Though remember to grab some milk before biting into these, they are rich!

The mix makes appx. 5 dozen cookies, and as the title says, it's almost a 10,000 calorie recipe so each cookie is something like 170 calories, assuming no sugar topping.

Note from Chris: My suggestion? Add a little more vanilla, and a bit of coffe extract or tia maria into the dough; then bake some lady fingers with it. Use the lady fingers as the basis for Tiramisu.


And be sure to check out:

Recipes for REAL Women, Volume 13 - Mels 10,000 Calorie Butter Cookies
Recipes for REAL Men, Volume 12 - Lard Ass Wings
Recipes for REAL Men, Volume 11 - Bacon Double Macaroni and Cheese
Recipes for REAL Men, Volume 10 - It's the meat stupid
Recipes for REAL Men, Volume 9 - Labor Day Potatos
Recipes for REAL men, Volume 8 - It's a pork fat thing
Recipes for REAL men, Volume 7 - It may not be Kosher...
Recipes for REAL men, Volume 6 - Andouille Guiness Chili
Recipes for REAL men, Volume 5 - Eazza the Ultimate Pizza
Recipes for REAL men, Volume 4 - Two Pound Meat Sauce
Recipes for REAL men, Volume 3 - Highbrow Hash
Recipes for REAL men, Volume 2 - MuscleCarbonara
Recipes for REAL men, Volume 1 - More Beef than Stew