Friday, May 06, 2005

Why don't guys understand....

Ok, I'm rather obviously a male of the speices; but I was raised by women (no fight club references folks), I have lots of female friends etc...

I also have lots of male friends; mostly of the geek variety; and for some reason none of them understand how to get laid.

They all seem to think that they have to be perfect, or theres some secret, or that it's even in any way diffuclt.

If all you want is a good fuck, there is nothing easier in this world. It's finding someone you actually want to stay with that's difficult.

Heres a hint guys: if you are doing it right, women like sex more than you do; and want it just as much (though generally not as frequently unless you meet that special girl).

There are only a few pre-requisites to getting laid:

1. Bathe
2. Don't live with your parents
3. Have a job

or alternatively if you are in a band you can just ignore all three.

Hell if you live in a college town the only thing you need is a dick and a heartbeat.

The demographics are already slanted in your favor; especially when you take into account the number of gay men in college towns (far higher then the gen pop, trust me
Women bitch about it constantly actually; take a listen some time.).

Actually that's not exactly true; you need a dick, a heartbeat, and the confidence to go after a woman without caring if you get rejected or not; because you will be, at least half the time; even if you look like Brad Pitt and are dipped in chocolate and strawberries.

That's really all there is to it; no secret, nothing all that hard about it. A little confidence, a little personal hygeine, and a little persistence.

Of course, I won't guarantee you'll like who you wake up next to in the morning; but at least it will get you laid.

Here IS a secret; the more you are getting laid, the easier it is to get laid more.

No, I'm serious. It's like women have fuckdar or something; and they are instantly more attracted to a guy who is getting some.

Oh and the best way to get women to hit on you? Get a girlfriend; or even better, get married.

I have never been hit on so much in my life as when I was wearing a wedding ring. It's like women looked at it as a challenge or something. Especially college girls, and young professional women away from home. Oh and women vacationing alone, or with other young friends.

Oh and you ladies may already know this, but geeks make way better lovers. Patience, creativity, persistence, and the desire to please; what a combo.