Thursday, March 24, 2005

Beg, Borrow, and Sell

Ok, sob story time.

I left my regular full time consulting gig last year because of a disagreement with my bosses boss. My boss was great (I've got great references), his boss was a slimy little fuckweasel.


Just a few weeks earlier, I had bought a house with my mother; really for her, though I planned on living there too. I had about 10k left over in cash and my cashed out mutual fund, so I figured all was well.

A few weeks after that, my mothers health took a dramatic turn for the worse. As I noted in comments she's been going through multiple cancers, and various problems that arose from the treatment of them. She had over the course of a few weeks 5 aneurysms (actually we dont know how long they were ther, but they were discovered over the course of a few weeks).

Basically the result has been her partial paralysis, limited mobility, and the loss of some co-ordination and mental function. She's still the smart, funny, stong lady I love, but she forgets things, drifts off in the middle of sentences, forgets youre in the room with her, that sort of thing.

Well, as I said, I bought the house with her, and I was helping with things, and still paying my expenses as well (they total out about $1600 a month, not huge, but not nothing). With her downturn, expenses grew pretty rapidly.

Heres the thing though, my mother refused to live with me during this time. Everything woulf have been sustainable if I only had one mortgage, cable, electric etc.. instead of two. I understand her reasoning though, she is a very proud woman.

One thing was very clear though, she needed me more than my normal jobs would allow. Most of my gigs involve months at a time of traveling all around the country, and the world. Even when I'm in one spot, it tends to involve 80 and hundred hour weeks. Obviously that wasnt going to work, so I decided I was going to limit my work.

A friend of mine was closing up his gun shop, and he needed the help, so I worked there for a couple months, inventorying, pricing, prepping for auction etc.. Actually it was pretty tough work, but great fun (especially since this is one of the bigges Class 3 dealers in the state of AZ. You would not BELIEVE some of the things we found that no-one had any idea... anyway thats another story entirely). He couldnt afford to pay me in cash, so I got merchandise instead, including a few guns, and tons of ammo and accessories.

I've also done other short term gigs in between (a week here, three days there that sort of thing), and for the first time in my life I actually collected unemployment.

Things got more complicated around christmas when my brother moved back from North Carolina, broke... It took him til a month a go to get a job, and I was covering him until then (he's paid me back some, which hes never done before, maybe theres some hope for him yet.)

January rolled around and my brother was back, so I decided I could let my brother handle the load (and he's been doing ok with it since the end of Jan.) and I started looking for full time gigs in earnest.

Well in february, actually about a week before I started this blog I think, the unemployment and my savings both ran out at the same time. So I sold a couple of guns (lord I hate doing that), and a friend loaned me some cash, so I could get through till I had a job. I was still doing some short term stuff, a few hundred coming in hear and there so all should have been good.

I got a job offer after a few weeks, and then a couple days later the company told me they wouldnt be able to hire me (broke, position put off, changed etc...). I mean I literally had a verbal offer not jsut dancing around, and they came back a bit later and said, sorry, we can't. So far this hasnt happened to me once, or twice, but THREE TIMES.

I'm not bitter, really I'm not.

At the end of february I got a firm job offer, but they wouldnt be able to start me until the middle of April. I said I'd think about it, and call me if anything changes, or when you are ready.

A week later I got the exact same deal somewhere else.

I still had a couple hundred coming in every couple weeks, I figured I could probably hold out til april.

Three weeks ago I got another job offer, this time I got the whole benefits package, laptop requisition, everything but siignature on the dotted line, because the start of the gig ws going to be two weeks off. After a week of not hearing from the guy I started calling.

Today, two weeks ater I started calling him, he finally got back to me. The job is mine, but it wont be starting til mid April.

In the last three weeks I have had three of my temp gigs either not happen, or not be able to pay me, or just disappear (without payment), and I've only had one of my gigs pay (and thank you very much, I ertainly needed the money). Because of the other job I had expected to get a paycheck by the first of April, so I payed some bills that I needed to pay, but maybe could have put off.

My insurance renewal jsut came due 7 days ago . I have 8 days left to renew it or I lose my registration. I live in Scottsdale Arizona, and I'm a consultant.

What it comes down to is, I'm in deep shit.

What I'd really like, is to be working again (and not be screwed around by potential employers). I'm good at quite a lot of things, and I'm a professional at several others. My IT resume is here (my physical security resume isn't distributed publicly), and if anyone would like to employ me, temporarily or permanently, just drop me a line.

UPDATE: A couple of people have emailed me asking if they could just send me some money. I am a man of pride, and of honor, but I am a realist. There is no dishonor in taking help when it is needed, and offered. So if you wnat to give me money, I'll take it (dont be surprised if you recieve odd gifts in future however). i've also set up a donation link, jsut below my profile.

UPDATE: I've made my rent and bills for the month, so I've taken down the forsale links, but I'm still leaving a couple items for sale , to give my self a little more breating room in case something goes wrong.