Sunday, February 27, 2005

DrunkBlogging the Oscars - Last Minute Predictions

Okay so the Oscars start in five minutes, and I figured I'd put up my last minute predictions.

But there's a twist, I havent seen ANY of the movies nominated, except for Sideways (which I really enjoyed BTW). I am basing my predictions entirely on my knowledge of pop culture, and the reported politics and buzz of hollywood.

More in the extended entry...

1. Best Picture

I'm going with 'million dollar baby here. Everyone loves to vote for controversial movies. It has a "mystery" ending, and everyone in the movie was nominated.

-- Ayup, picked it true. I don't think this was exactly a surprise. Thats the third time he's picked up two or more oscars for the same movie (three for unforgiven, two for mystic river)

2. Best Director

Scorsese, as a consolation prize for all the toher times he should have won

-- Strike four. Well Million dollar baby made all the majors but best actor, as most were expecting. I wasn't sure if it'd make the sweep, and Sorcese is way overdue, but they kept with the semi-indy. Really I figured the fact that Clint already had 5 oscars, and was certain to get his sixth for best picture was going to give the nod to Scorsese

3. Best Actor

Jamie Foxx, because of the few minutes I've seen of Ray he WAS Ray Charles for those two hours.

-- Got it in one again. I don't think this one was ever really in doubt, not matter what people were saying about Eastwood. If you've ever seen his standup he actually does a dead-on Poitier. Nice tribute to Grandma. Great speech.

4. Best Actress

Hilary Swank, for playing a controversial role, a sick person, and a death scene, in a sweep movie.

-- Got it in one. I like the girl, I think she's classy, and talented. She gets her first Oscar for playing a woman in drag, and her second for playing a female boxer. Remember her first big movie, the next Karate Kid? Think maybe she's being typecast as butch? Oh and I like her messing with the band like that.

5. Best Supporting Actor

Morgan Freeman, because he's always damn good, and million dollar baby is going to be the big winner tonight.

-- Yup, I was right. Damn that man has class. Great, short, speech.

6. Best Supporting Actress

I'm guessing Virgina Madsen for Sideways, mostly as a consolation to Sideways because it isnt winning a major category

-- Strike one, Cate Blanchett. I didnt see The Aviator, so I can't comment on her peformance there, but she's generally good, and anyone who can take on Katherine Hepburn deserves at least an award for balls.

7. Best Original Screenplay

Im guessing the Aviator gets it, but hotel Rwanda might have grabbed the guilt vote.

-- Strike three, Charlie Kauffman. This one surprises me, becuase it went to Jim Carrey Sci-Fi dramedy, three types with a long history of failure. I'm guessing it was because Kauffman was nominated twice before with no win, and eveyrone loved Malkovich and Adaptation.

8. Best Adapted screenplay

Tough one, might be million, but I think "finding neverland" gets a sympathy vote.

-- Nope, strike two.Sideways, which I definitely enjoyed, but I don't know if it's Oscarworthy

I have to say, Paul Giamatti was screwed over on Sideways not getting a best actor nomination, when sideways was nominated in almsot every major category.

Oh and Chris Rock, I'm guessing is going to bring down the house, but he has to be a lot cleaner than his usual piece. We shall see what we shall see.

18:42 Chris Rock: This is why I love Chris Rock. He has no problem offending everyone, and he's right, and funny. Oh and Halle Berry is DAMN HOT!!!

18:47 Renee Zellweger: DAMN, girl got a 20" waist in that dress. They keep saying shes not anorexic, but from what I hear she overexcercises, which is the same damn thing.

18:54 Robin Williams: You know, Robin is still funny, but he was funnier with the coke

18:56 Animation: I LOVE the incredibles, and I'm glad to see it recognized. DO NOT CELEBRATE MEDIOCRITY!!!!!!!!

18:59 Chris Rock: Ok, he's hittin on the race thing a bit much, and I'm guessing it gets worse through the evening.

19:01 Drew Barrymore: Normally I lust after young Drew, but she looks like a Liza Impersonator here. And Beyonce, ok I speak french, and the hard annunciations are HORRIBLE, plus that dress... lampshade.

19:32 Counting Crows: Wow, I've never heard them suck this bad. I mean they usually suck live, but they really mailed it in on this one. I am officially switching to drunkblogging this one. If it's all gonna suck this hard I need some whisky.

19:35 DrunkBlogging: Ahhhh sweeet sweet Bushmills

19:42 Adam Sandler: Okay whoever wrote that bit needs to be hurt, severely and repeatedly.

19:46 Jake Gyllenhal: Oak. This guy makes Al Gore look like Sammy Davis Junior.

19:50 Al Pacino: Wow, I think Al beat me to the whisky by a few hours.

19:57 Sidney Lumet: Damn, great speech. This one is going to be remembered, at least in the biz .

20:26 Salma Hayek: I always say, I love this woman until she opens her mouth. Nothings changed here. Thank you so much for fellating a psychotic cummunist murderer. Of course after doing Frida it's not surprising.

20:48 Yo Yo Ma: Normally I love Ma, and I truly lvoe the cello, but either he's having a bad night, or this arrangement is off... No listening to it more, he's definitely having an off night. I'm glad to see the put Reagan first. And I have to say, theres a lot of folks who'll be missed on that list. I was watching crossing Jordan the other night and saw Paul Winfield. Man he had one hell of a voice.

20:57 Beyonce: What's with all the fishtail flared gowns? At least half a dozen of the women have worn them.

20:59 Prince: Uhhhhh, dude, what crawled up and died on your head? Ahh I don't care, you still kick ass man.

21:02 Sean Penn: Hmm, looks like he's on the Stevie Ray Vaughn special (note for the unhip, Cocaine Dissolved in Jack Daniels). Reminding me of, I need more whisky.

21:22 Charlize Theron: Prior to tonight I would have thought it was impossible to make Charlize Theron look bad without 4 hours of makeup. I was wrong, apparently 30 seconds of wardrobe will do the job as well.

21:34 It's all over:Only 3 and a bit hours, good opening, lame humor throughout, but honestly, not that interesting. Nothing really surprising, no big shows, no incredible speeches, and other than overplaying the black thing, nothing bad from Chris Rock. Oh and I only made 50% on my predictions.