Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Gothier than thou

I am the anti-goth.

I alway thought nihilism was basically what happens when narcissism and denial meet; Plus I'm a 6'2" tall 350lb former football player, and power lifter with short wavy reddish brown hair and a red beard.

Really, I am the anti-goth. I wasn't kidding.

I've gotten gothed up a few times and I get followed around by people with "big poppa" fetishes both male and female; especially the super-subbies who just irritate me. I'm a naturally dominant person and the supersubs can sense it like dom radar or something. The second you walk into a room they all shoot right for you. "For the last time NO I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE MY SLAVE AND I WILL NOT PUNISH YOU!!!!!!!!".

Except you... yeah, you know who you are, and you've been very naughty not calling me before now. I suggest you make up for it immediately.

But I digress.

A lot of these people are even bigger whiners than the average overindulged ultra pretentious underaged un-employed yet wearing $2000 worth of leather and metal, not really angry enough to care but liking to pretend that they are pseudo-goth, and that's saying something (albeit something bad).

That being said, a good looking woman gothed up in the right way makes me drool. Remember Mia Sara at the end of Legend... thumpa thumpa thumpa... (if anyone has a pic of this send please and I will post. More 80's goths made in that moment than any other)

You want to see a real goth? Grow your hair (all of it especially your body hair) and don't bathe for a year; then roll around in some reindeer shit, slice open the reindeer, scoop out the guts, wear the skin and sharpen the bones. Then you'll be a real goth.

Or if we want to get into the neo-classical goths look at Lord Byron. Now there was a cool neo-classical goth. Mad, Bad, and Dangerous to know; I swear he was the guy who made up the saying "live fast, die young, and leave a good looking corpse"

Listening to Marilyn Manson or Christian death at volume 11 and wearing PVC does not make you a goth, it just makes you an uncomfortable moron with a hearing problem.